by Diane Masson | Feb 8, 2015
Self-destructive, stubborn, selfish or stupid?
Don’t we all know a friend or parent who fits the description of self-destructive, stubborn, selfish or stupid? What do you do? Love them or fight them? How can you help someone who refuses to believe there is a problem? You can’t make a parent be compliant with his or her doctor and you can’t force a senior to move into a higher level of care.
As seniors age, medical problems tend to increase. All sorts of progressive diseases can ravage a senior’s body and create havoc mentally and physically.
Uncooperative Parent?
My friend Grace’s dad has been defiant about his dialysis treatments for seven years. Dialysis is a medical procedure for people whose kidneys are failing. The treatment helps clean your blood and remove toxins from the body. If you refuse treatment you die a painful death.
Richard is supposed to have dialysis three times per week. His pattern of behavior is to refuse treatment till he is in crisis mode and has to be hospitalized. Then he feels good, skips a treatment, toxins build in his body, and he goes back into crisis mode again.
When Richard does not show up for his dialysis, they call his adult daughter who lives 45 minutes away. She used to drop everything including walking away from work to plead with her dad to accept treatment. Sometimes her waterworks of tears would be effective and other times he still refused treatment. Crisis calls every week for seven years is a long time. Anyone of us would be burned out. The police have called my friend and threatened her with elder abuse if she does not get her dad to comply with treatment. Seriously? This man has a right to refuse treatment, even with dementia. How can his daughter be held responsible for his lack of treatment?
- The dad has refused to sign a Power of Attorney (POA).
- The dad has refused to go in the ambulance when it has arrived on numerous occasions to take him to dialysis treatment.
- The dad refused to move to assisted living on the doctor’s recommendation.
- The dad refused to move to skilled nursing care on the doctor’s recommendation.
- The doctor called adult protective services and they have done nothing.
- The daughter asked adult protective services to make her the conservator of her dad and they said no.
This scenario has been going on for seven long years! My heart goes out to my friend. Do you think her dad is self-destructive, stubborn, selfish or stupid? Do you have any thoughts or advice?
Diane Masson’s new guide book for seniors, “Your Senior Housing Options,” will be will be coming soon to Amazon.com. If you sign up for my weekly newsletter on the right side of this blog, you will be notified when my new book becomes available. Check out my new website: Tips2Seniors.com or please follow me on Facebook.
“Your Senior Housing Options,” is dedicated to my mother, whose stories are peppered throughout. Being her advocate for over ten years has taught me to be a better person. My mom has dementia, but I am truly blessed that she still calls me by name. Her smile and joy inspires me to see the positive side of life. It makes me want to reach out and help seniors and their families make better choices today so they can have more secure long-term care plans tomorrow.
by Diane Masson | Feb 1, 2015
5 Tips! Go Hawks!
Five sales at one Continuing Care Retirement Community (CCRC) in one week! Are you and your team hitting these numbers? How is it possible? Here are a few tips:
- Have a sales retreat to appreciate your senior living sales team and make them feel valued. Have you taken the time to do this or are you too busy to “waste” a day of work? It could be the most important day to improve the sales team’s attitude and turn around your occupancy.
- Our retreat focused on setting individual sales goals and building self-esteem and confidence.
- Each sales person was recognized for his or her achievements in 2014.
- The retreat created two types of energy: individually and with the team. This energy blossomed into momentum.
- Have you created a marketing plan that brings new people to your senior living community on a regular basis?
- Does your team call back every tour the next day even if they say, “I’m not ready yet.”?
- Is your entire operational team focused on first impressions of guests and prospective residents?
- Are your residents 100% satisfied and sharing their enthusiasm with prospective residents?
Focus on these five tips and watch your occupancy increase for 2015.
Diane Twohy Masson is the author of “Senior Housing Marketing – How to Increase Your Occupancy and Stay Full,” available at Amazon.com with a 5-star rating. The book is required reading at George Mason University as a part of its marketing curriculum. Within this book, the author developed a sales & marketing method with 12 keys to help senior living providers increase their occupancy.
“Your Senior Housing Options,” will be coming soon to Amazon.com. If you sign up for my weekly newsletter on the right side of this blog, you will be notified when my new book becomes available. Check out my new website: Tips2Seniors.com or please follow me on Facebook.
by Diane Masson | Jan 25, 2015
Which scenario describes your senior living community? I called three memory care communities in Seattle and got very different responses.
Community A – answered the phone in two rings. I shared my need to find immediate placement for my mother-in-law with Alzheimer’s. Their memory care was 100% full with a waiting list. Sandy was extremely helpful and suggested another community. Special shout out and thanks to Sandy! It is no surprise that you are full.
Community B – answered the phone within two rings, but mumbled something to me. I asked them to repeat it, because I did not understand one word. Then I shared my situation. The person said they would put me through to someone who would help me. Suddenly I was in a voicemail box. What? I left a full crisis message with my name and number. They have not called me back and it has been five days.
Community C – answered the phone within three rings. They heard my crisis story and said the person I needed to speak to was not available but they would text them regarding this emergency. The lady on the phone promised me that they would call me back that day. The admissions person called me back within an hour and we started working on a plan of action for my mother-in-law.
This is a real situation for my family to place my mother-in-law with Alzheimer’s immediately.
Congratulations to all three communities in Seattle, WA who all answered their phones within a couple of rings. Community B, put me through to a voicemail when I was in crisis mode. Are you kidding me? That is heartless. Take my name and number and have a real person call me back as soon as possible. The majority of people hang up when pushed into voicemail. Don’t use it.
Diane Twohy Masson is the author of “Senior Housing Marketing – How to Increase Your Occupancy and Stay Full,” available at Amazon.com with a 5-star rating. The book is required reading at George Mason University as a part of its marketing curriculum. Within this book, the author developed a sales & marketing method with 12 keys to help senior living providers increase their occupancy. Masson developed this expertise as a marketing consultant, sought-after blogger for senior housing and a regional marketing director of continuing care retirement communities in several markets. She has also been a corporate director of sales and a mystery shopper for independent living, assisted living, memory care and skilled care nursing communities in multiple states. Currently, Masson is setting move-in records as the regional marketing director of two debt-free Continuing Care Retirement Communities in Southern California – Freedom Village in Lake Forest and The Village in Hemet, California. Interestingly, this career started when she was looking for a place for her own mom and helped her loved one transition through three levels of care.
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by Diane Masson | Jan 18, 2015
A hoarding senior who needs a walker is not a safe combination. As hoarders age, the clutter can make a senior fall. It can be practically impossible for an emergency crew to extract a fallen senior out of living room that is piled high with paper, extra furniture and trash. I know of a senior in my former senior living community that was wedged in between tiny pathways of books, magazines, unopened mail and clothing.
A friend of mine is dealing with a senior hoarding situation. Her father-in-law can only navigate through four rooms and has to climb over stuff to get into his bed. This gentleman is 98 years old with dementia and requires a walker.
Recently he injured his leg on a lawn mower that was in his living room. (You can’t make up this stuff.) More trip hazards included extension cords laying on the floor and throw rugs. Whenever his son tries to get rid of stuff the dad refuses. So there are three sofas in the living room and none are accessible. The son bought his dad a new flat screen TV and VCR. The new gifts were duct taped on top of the broken TV and VCR. When the dad received a new recliner for Christmas, it was positioned next to the old run down model. Every attempt to declutter is met with an irate senior who refuses to part with anything.
He should not be in this cluttery filthy home with a walker. A daughter is enabling him by bringing him groceries and medicine. There are piles of crap everywhere and you can barely make it from the chair in the living room to the kitchen.
Hoarders do vary. Some have the kitchen counters covered with expired food items. Green stuff is growing in the refrigerator. It’s a sickness. You cannot correct the problem by cleaning up for them once or twice. You can help make their environment safer on a temporary basis. But hoarding is an illness and they cannot stop until you get to the root cause of the hoarding. You cannot project your common sense on them.
Is your parent a hoarder? My mom collected bags and napkins. When I cleaned out my mom’s home, she literally had 17 black trash bags filled with bags. Wow! Have you had a hoarder move into your senior living community? What happened? Were they able to downsize their stuff?
Photo by Melody Komyerov.
With experience as both an industry expert and a loving daughter, Diane Twohy Masson is passionate about helping seniors find the retirement community that fits their price range, lifestyle, and needs. Her new guidebook offers a proactive approach to navigating the complex maze of senior housing options. It will help you understand the costs and consequences of the various possibilities, from home care to independent living, assisted living, group homes, memory care, and skilled nursing-care facilities.
“Your Senior Housing Options,” will be coming soon to Amazon.com. If you sign up for my weekly newsletter on the right side of this blog, you will be notified when my new book becomes available. Check out my new website: Tips2Seniors.com or please follow me on Facebook.
Diane Twohy Masson is the author of “Senior Housing Marketing – How to Increase Your Occupancy and Stay Full,” available at Amazon.com with a 5-star rating. The book is required reading at George Mason University as a part of its marketing curriculum. Within this book, the author developed a sales & marketing method with 12 keys to help senior living providers increase their occupancy.
by Diane Masson | Jan 11, 2015
It’s flu season and I unfortunately succumbed with a 100.8 temperature reading and a horrible cough. My husband, Chris, was sicker than I. As we nursed each other back to health, I thought about single seniors trying to manage flu symptoms alone in their home.
What if a senior didn’t have enough groceries stocked at home? What if they were too weak to even make themselves a can of soup? Would they monitor their own temperature and take Tylenol every six hours? What about drinking enough liquids? Will anyone check on his or her well-being?
The flu has not struck at the Continuing Care Retirement Communities that I represent. It makes me feel good to know if one of our residents got the flu, in the independent living setting, room service could bring them a meal of soup, fruit and tea or what they need to start healing. If a senior resident wondered if they need to be hospitalized they could walk down the hall to the complimentary wellness clinic and ask the nurse. If they were really bad the senior resident could pull their emergency cord and a nurse or emergency medical technician would come help them. Wow! I did not have that luxury. Frankly, I could have used it Friday night when I considered going to the emergency room, because it was getting hard to breathe.
Assisted living and skilled nursing support residents 24-hours a day, so if a senior got the flu, they have caregivers who can nourish them back to health.
Some critics might say that a community setting promotes the spread of flu, with all those people living and dining together. There are small steps senior living communities can do to reduce this challenge. First and foremost, install hand sanitizer in strategic places in the community, such as the lobby and dining room entrances. Second, promoting flu shots. Plus if people are sick, such as myself, they just need to stay at home to reduce the spread of infection.
What are your thoughts? Is it better to have the flu isolated in your home or in a senior living community?
With experience as both an industry expert and a loving daughter, Diane Twohy Masson is passionate about helping seniors find the retirement community that fits their price range, lifestyle, and needs. Her new guidebook offers a proactive approach to navigating the complex maze of senior housing options. It will help you understand the costs and consequences of the various possibilities, from home care to independent living, assisted living, group homes, memory care, and skilled nursing-care facilities.
“Your Senior Housing Options,” will be coming soon to Amazon.com. If you sign up for my weekly newsletter on the right side of this blog, you will be notified when my new book becomes available. Check out my new website: Tips2Seniors.com or please follow me on Facebook.
Diane Twohy Masson is the author of “Senior Housing Marketing – How to Increase Your Occupancy and Stay Full,” available at Amazon.com with a 5-star rating. The book is required reading at George Mason University as a part of its marketing curriculum. Within this book, the author developed a sales & marketing method with 12 keys to help senior living providers increase their occupancy.
