Finding Love at 70 Plus Years Old

Finding Love at 70 Plus Years Old

Finding Love Again at 70 Plus Years OldLast week we had 24 new residents at our new resident reception. Out of 24 new senior residents:

  • Two senior couples had met online.
  • One senior couple had met by each placing an ad in the local paper.

Wow!  How exciting is that? Seniors are finding love after losing a spouse of 30 or 40 years.

One of these couples met through E-harmony. We had dinner together and they shared their exciting journey. They each filled out a lengthy questionnaire to find the perfect mate. Each was looking for someone who loved to travel. The gentleman rejected a potential date with a senior who only loved cruising, another lady only wanted to travel to Europe and a third potential senior woman was a retired stewardess.

This senior man was patiently waiting for a senior woman who wanted to travel by RV or motorhome around the country. After finding that potential senior woman online, they only corresponded through the dating website for next three months. Then they exchanged emails and phone numbers. They both proceeded cautiously.

Well their relationship bloomed into marriage and traveling the country by RV for four years. You can see a glow on each of their faces when they speak of the other.

They decided to settle at The Village in Hemet, CA. They wanted to create a plan for their future and not be a burden to their families in a health care crisis. They are trying every community activity together, such as exercising in the health club, enjoying live performances and swimming three days a week. Both of them love life and are enthusiastic about meeting all the other friendly residents at dinner.

Another senior couple who met at this same Continuing Care Retirement Community created an exciting stir at the monthly cocktail party.  He asked her if she would be his life partner in front of everyone.  She asked all the residents attending, “What should I say?”  The residents all responded, “Say yes!”  They are now a happy couple!

Do you have any stories of seniors age 70 plus who have found love again?

Your Senior Housing Options,” has a simplistic title, but what’s inside this new book can save a you months of research time.  Hear Diane Masson’s interview of how her mother and in-law’s faced the pivotal decision to plan ahead or wait until a crisis.  Learn the pitfalls from transitioning from your home to senior housing.  Understand what questions to ask, insider tips and dirty secrets revealed.  The decision to stay home requires caregivers.  Prevent elder abuse by determining if a home care agency is reputable, before they move into your home.  You are just not looking for today’s needs, but for your future care.  Discover key differences between rental facilities vs Continuing Care Retirement Communities.  Do you have enough financial resources if you need to be in a higher level of care for an extended period of time?  For weekly tips join at: Www.Tips2Seniors.com 

Diane Masson has worked in senior housing for 17 years and is the regional marketing director for two debt-free Continuing Care Retirement Communities in Southern CA (Freedom Village in Lake Forest and The Village in Hemet).  Her first book “Senior Housing Marketing – How to Increase Your Occupancy and Stay Full,” is being utilized by senior housing professionals across the country.  Both her first book and second book, “Your Senior Housing Options,” have a 5-star rating on Amazon.com.

More Hospice at Home OR Less at Assisted Living and Skilled Nursing?

More Hospice at Home OR Less at Assisted Living and Skilled Nursing?

Diane and her mom about a month before she died.

Diane and her mom about a month before she died.

Let’s hear from professionals around the world to see if this assumption is correct! Do seniors need fewer days of hospice in assisted living and skilled nursing than at home? It makes sense to me.

An article by the Philly Voice stated, “At hospice enrollment, between 2008 and 2012, 78,130 of the patients in the study lived at home and 7,451 were in assisted living.”

My own mom with vascular dementia, living in skilled nursing care, only needed 4 days of hospice care. While my mom was actively dying with hospice care, I read about all the signs people show approaching death.

In a great little book called, “Gone from my Sight, The Dying Experience,” by Barbara Karnes, RN, I learned how seniors start to withdraw one to three months prior to death. The desire for food decreases while sleep dramatically increases. A senior can become more disoriented, agitated and talk with the unseen one or two weeks before death.

As I held my mom’s nonresponsive hand a few days before her death, I realized that most of what the book predicted had happened to my mom in the previous few months. Yet she was completely supported in her skilled nursing environment. What a gift that community gave her.

When she could not feed herself (she forgot how because of her dementia), the caregivers or I would feed her. At every meal she was given an opportunity to feed herself. The staff never gave up on her improving. If my mom had been home, I would have fretted and taken her to the doctor to learn why she was eating less.

My mom never had to be disrupted from her familiar environment and go the hospital like many hospice patients. All types of care could happen right at her skilled nursing community. My mom needed full care (bathing, dressing, medication management, two-person transfers, toileting and feeding).

I can see in my mind’s eye that many higher-level assisted livings could accomplish what my mom’s skilled nursing environment did for her. Calm caring 24/7 staff that understands declining seniors can bring a sense of peace to the patient and his or her family members.

I want to personally thank all the assisted living and skilled nursing care workers that help seniors transition to death. Bless you! Shout out to all the nurses and caregivers at Freedom Village Skilled Nursing for what you did for my mom.   Your compassionate staff rocks!

Your Senior Housing Options,” has a simplistic title, but what’s inside this new book can save a you months of research time.  Hear Diane Masson’s interview of how her mother and in-law’s faced the pivotal decision to plan ahead or wait until a crisis.  Learn the pitfalls from transitioning from your home to senior housing.  Understand what questions to ask, insider tips and dirty secrets revealed.  The decision to stay home requires caregivers.  Prevent elder abuse by determining if a home care agency is reputable, before they move into your home.  You are just not looking for today’s needs, but for your future care.  Discover key differences between rental facilities vs Continuing Care Retirement Communities.  Do you have enough financial resources if you need to be in a higher level of care for an extended period of time?  For weekly tips join at: Www.Tips2Seniors.com 

Diane Masson has worked in senior housing for 17 years and is the regional marketing director for two debt-free Continuing Care Retirement Communities in Southern CA (Freedom Village in Lake Forest and The Village in Hemet).  Her first book “Senior Housing Marketing – How to Increase Your Occupancy and Stay Full,” is being utilized by senior housing professionals across the country.  Both her first book and second book, “Your Senior Housing Options,” have a 5-star rating on Amazon.com.

$48,000 a Month for my Father-in-law to Die?

$48,000 a Month for my Father-in-law to Die?

End of Life AdvocacyEnd of life decisions are so difficult for an advocate to make for his or her’s senior parent. A few months ago, I had to make tough choices for my mom before she passed. A month ago, my husband and his family faced difficult choices for his dad.

My father-in-law, Bill, had been on home hospice with 24/7 care for about three months. He was frail (worn out from being a caregiver for his wife who had Alzheimer’s), had inoperable blockages in his heart, had four small strokes that my sister-in-law witnessed and was frustrated with early dementia.

He was reaching for the cat when he fell.

The hospital determined that his pelvis was fractured in multiple locations and his femur (thigh bone) was broken. So Bill would be bed ridden the rest of his life. Sigh…he was in so much pain.

They were turning Bill every two hours to prevent bedsores. He could only be on his back and the side without the broken femur. He was a two-person transfer.

The fall that sent him to the hospital was a non-hospice related incident so it was covered by insurance. With no hope of improvement the hospital determined that he was once again comfort care. So according to the hospital, he was a hospice patent who needed to move out of the hospital or pay privately.

The only skilled nursing care facility in the area was not an option (bad reputation). There were no hospice facilities in the local area.

So the only two choices were:

  • Stay in the hospital for a cost of $48,000 a month.
  • Go home with two around-the-clock caregivers for a cost of $32,000 a month (because he was a two person transfer). The going home option would require my sister-in-law to stay home (she works full time) and manage the caregivers. The family would have to reimburse her normal salary.

My wonderful but exhausted sister-in-law found a temporary solution, which she badly needed. It is called hospice respite care, which includes a 5-day stay. Medicare Part A will pay for up to five days of respite care for a hospice patent who is otherwise cared for in the home. It gives a break to the caregiver. It can be provided in a hospice facility, nursing home or hospital. So we started the 5-day clock and didn’t have to move Bill. He was so frail and moving him would have been horrible painful. He died about three days later, pain free, with family at his side.

He worked hard his whole life and the family agreed upfront to pay the $48,000 a month after the respite 5-day stay.

What if a senior does not have this kind of money or a home to sell?

My own 92 year old mother died in skilled nursing care on Medi-cal. It was in a caring compassionate 5-star rated skilled nursing community called Freedom Village in Lake Forest, CA. My mom was lucky. Many skilled nursing facilities that offer Medicaid assistance are not wonderful experiences.

Families need to research choices, advocate and make the best end of life decisions possible at the time. 

Hospice Note:  Our family’s goal was for Bill to die at home.  My sister-in-law was fully prepared through hospice to make this happen.  Bill’s devastating fall that required a two person transfer changed the situation.  Just shifting him in his hospital bed was horribly painful.  We could not imagine moving him in a ambulance at this point to any another location.

This situation is still very raw for me and it has taken me over a month to be able to write about this topic in my blog.

Your Senior Housing Options,” has a simplistic title, but what’s inside this new book can save a you months of research time.  Hear Diane Masson’s interview of how her mother and in-law’s faced the pivotal decision to plan ahead or wait until a crisis.  Learn the pitfalls from transitioning from your home to senior housing.  Understand what questions to ask, insider tips and dirty secrets revealed.  The decision to stay home requires caregivers.  Prevent elder abuse by determining if a home care agency is reputable, before they move into your home.  You are just not looking for today’s needs, but for your future care.  Discover key differences between rental facilities vs Continuing Care Retirement Communities.  Do you have enough financial resources if you need to be in a higher level of care for an extended period of time?  For weekly tips join at: Www.Tips2Seniors.com 

Diane Masson has worked in senior housing for 17 years and is the regional marketing director for two debt-free Continuing Care Retirement Communities in Southern CA (Freedom Village in Lake Forest and The Village in Hemet).  Her first book “Senior Housing Marketing – How to Increase Your Occupancy and Stay Full,” is being utilized by senior housing professionals across the country.  Both her first book and second book, “Your Senior Housing Options,” have a 5-star rating on Amazon.com.

Cost of Home Care vs Assisted Living, Channel 6 TV Interview with Diane Masson

Most seniors want to stay in their own home. Learn five keys in this TV interview to differentiate a reputable home care company from a fly-by-night company.   Paying a caregiver under the table may end up being your most expensive option. Can you afford 24-hour home care? If not, learn the costs of your other options before you deplete your resources. Learn more insider tips in a new resource book, “Your Senior Housing Options” or get weekly advice for free at WWW.tips2seniors.com.

“Your Senior Housing Options,” has a simplistic title, but what’s inside this new book can save you months of research time.  Hear Diane Masson’s interview of how her mother and in-law’s faced the pivotal decision to plan ahead or wait until a crisis.  Learn the pitfalls from transitioning from your home to senior housing.  Understand what questions to ask, insider tips and dirty secrets revealed.  The decision to stay home requires caregivers.  Prevent elder abuse by determining if a home care agency is reputable, before they move into your home.  You are just not looking for today’s needs, but for your future care.  Discover key differences between rental facilities vs Continuing Care Retirement Communities.  Do you have enough financial resources if you need to be in a higher level of care for an extended period of time?  For weekly tips join at: Www.Tips2Seniors.com 

Diane Masson has worked in senior housing for 17 years and is the regional marketing director for two debt-free Continuing Care Retirement Communities in Southern CA (Freedom Village in Lake Forest and The Village in Hemet).  Her first book “Senior Housing Marketing – How to Increase Your Occupancy and Stay Full,” is being utilized by senior housing professionals across the country.  Both her first book and second book, “Your Senior Housing Options,” have a 5-star rating on Amazon.com.

Can Mom Progress from Stage 2 Dementia to Stage 4 Dementia in Weeks?

Can Mom Progress from Stage 2 Dementia to Stage 4 Dementia in Weeks?

Stage 2 to Stage 4 DementiaProfessionals have told me that a trauma could have caused Amy’s dementia (my favorite mother-in-law) to escalate rapidly. Is this true? Can all the dementia professionals and family members weigh in with their experiences?

My mother-in-law’s dementia was progressing slowly like my mom’s vascular dementia. There are four stages of memory loss and Amy was in stage 2, before the trauma. She repeated herself a lot, needed cueing for personal hygiene, medication management and had little desire to leave the home. Amy talked about not being able to remember stuff, but she could still read the paper, dress, bathe, toilet and feed herself.

Then Bill, my favorite father-in-law and Amy’s 24-7 caretaker, had a heart attack and went to the hospital. Amy could not understand where her rock and husband of 65 years had gone. She ended up having a psychotic break and eloping (The police had to find her and bring her back home.). A whole series of dramas happened and she hit a nurse. Then she too was hospitalized and put on psychotropic medications. Amy was in the hospital for three weeks in the psych ward.

By the time she got out of the hospital, the Amy I had seen months earlier was gone. The first time my husband and I saw her after the hospitalization (we live three states away) was so sad. The vivacious and sarcastic Amy was gone. It was like seeing a shell of her former self. Her lip trembled, her arm shook and she was so sleepy from the Haldol drugs. We immediately got the psychotropic medication reduced by half. It took us another three months to get her completely off the Haldol because we are not Amy’s Power of Attorney.

Amy was suddenly in stage 4 dementia. She needs help with absolutely everything and is not able to communicate her thoughts or needs. Hospice has been discussed in care plan meetings.

Has anyone else seen such a rapid decline with a family member or resident with dementia? Was it losing her husband, the psychotropic medications or both that caused Amy’s rapid deterioration? I believe that if my in-laws had planned ahead and moved into a Continuing Care Retirement Community (CCRC) that staff and residents would have supported Amy when her husband was first hospitalized. The CCRC would have rallied around her, helped her transition to the care level she needed and her world wouldn’t have changed so dramatically (she would have been dining daily with resident friends instead of being isolated in her own home).

What do you think?

“Your Senior Housing Options,” has a simplistic title, but what’s inside this new book can save a you months of research time.  Hear Diane Masson’s interview of how her mother and in-law’s faced the pivotal decision to plan ahead or wait until a crisis.  Learn the pitfalls from transitioning from your home to senior housing.  Understand what questions to ask, insider tips and dirty secrets revealed.  The decision to stay home requires caregivers.  Prevent elder abuse by determining if a home care agency is reputable, before they move into your home.  You are just not looking for today’s needs, but for your future care.  Discover key differences between rental facilities vs Continuing Care Retirement Communities.  Do you have enough financial resources if you need to be in a higher level of care for an extended period of time?  For weekly tips join at: Www.Tips2Seniors.com 

Diane Masson has worked in senior housing for 17 years and is the regional marketing director for two debt-free Continuing Care Retirement Communities in Southern CA (Freedom Village in Lake Forest and The Village in Hemet).  Her first book “Senior Housing Marketing – How to Increase Your Occupancy and Stay Full,” is being utilized by senior housing professionals across the country.  Both her first book and second book, “Your Senior Housing Options,” have a 5-star rating on Amazon.com.

Does MOVING to a Senior Living Community Feel Like a STORM?

Does MOVING to a Senior Living Community Feel Like a STORM?

We all go through storms!

We all go through storms!

We all have storms in our lives. Maybe the storm is a death, sickness, or major life crisis. It could even be one of Mother Nature’s storms such as hurricane, tornado or earthquake. You or a senior you know may be going through a storm at this moment.

At some point the storm always ends. There is peace and calmness again. No one is the same after one of life’s storms. The length of the storm will most likely determine the amount of wisdom gained. One of my best friends is a breast cancer survivor. Now she uses the knowledge of her successful treatments and faith to help others. She can make someone elses cancer journey less scary. What a gift!

As retirement counselors in senior living and housing, we can provide that gift of knowledge to a senior considering a move. A senior may feel like they are in a storm processing a major life move to your community. Being pulled toward the benefits of living in a retirement community and simultaneously being drawn back to the security of their home can create conflict for a senior.

Here are a few tips:

First, a retirement counselor needs to acknowledge that a senior is facing an emotional decision (the storm). The decision is to plan ahead or wait until a health care crisis.

Second, if a senior chooses to wait until a health crisis they will be forcing their adult children to eventually “put them someplace” (bigger storm). Many seniors don’t realize this truth. Seniors are typically shocked to learn they will have a 66% chance of needing a higher level of care at some point like assisted living or skilled nursing care.

Third, if a senior moves into a senior living community that transitions them into higher levels of care like assisted living and skilled nursing care, it is a proactive choice to plan ahead (smaller storm for the senior and the family in the future).

Retirement counselors in senior housing should focus on educating seniors about their future health care choices and how your retirement community can be a solution.

If you have ever felt slightly sick standing on the deck of a boat in the ocean, the captain always tells you to look toward the horizon. Don’t focus on the waves that are swirling close around you. Look beyond to the distant skyline. Seniors need to visualize what they are gaining by making a move and planning ahead for their future care. Others can’t get past the overwhelming thought of the turmoil that moving will create for them.

The calm after a storm is usually filled with a sense of peace and wisdom.

Planning ahead could be the greatest gift a senior can give their children. When my mom moved into a Continuing Care Retirement Community in Seattle, WA, it was the smartest decision she ever made. Thank you mom!

How do you help educate seniors?  What tips can you share?

“Your Senior Housing Options,” has a simplistic title, but what’s inside this new book can save a you months of research time.  Hear Diane Masson’s interview of how her mother and in-law’s faced the pivotal decision to plan ahead or wait until a crisis.  Learn the pitfalls from transitioning from your home to senior housing.  Understand what questions to ask, insider tips and dirty secrets revealed.  The decision to stay home requires caregivers.  Prevent elder abuse by determining if a home care agency is reputable, before they move into your home.  You are just not looking for today’s needs, but for your future care.  Discover key differences between rental facilities vs Continuing Care Retirement Communities.  Do you have enough financial resources if you need to be in a higher level of care for an extended period of time?  For weekly tips join at: Www.Tips2Seniors.com 

Diane Masson has worked in senior housing for 17 years and is the regional marketing director for two debt-free Continuing Care Retirement Communities in Southern CA (Freedom Village in Lake Forest and The Village in Hemet).  Her first book “Senior Housing Marketing – How to Increase Your Occupancy and Stay Full,” is being utilized by senior housing professionals across the country.  Both her first book and second book, “Your Senior Housing Options,” have a 5-star rating on Amazon.com.

“Your Senior Housing Options,” Channel 6 Interview with Diane Masson

“Your Senior Housing Options,” has a simplistic title, but what’s inside this new book can save you months of research time.  Hear Diane Masson’s interview of how her mother and in-law’s faced the pivotal decision to plan ahead or wait until a crisis.  Learn the pitfalls from transitioning from your home to senior housing.  Understand what questions to ask, insider tips and dirty secrets revealed.  The decision to stay home requires caregivers.  Prevent elder abuse by determining if a home care agency is reputable, before they move into your home.  You are just not looking for today’s needs, but for your future care.  Discover key differences between rental facilities vs Continuing Care Retirement Communities.  Do you have enough financial resources if you need to be in a higher level of care for an extended period of time?   Please enjoy my new interview.  For more info: Www.Tips2Seniors.com 

Diane Masson is a senior housing expert, the author of two books and regional marketing director for two debt-free Continuing Care Retirement Communities in Southern CA: Freedom Village in Lake Forest and The Village in Hemet.

Un-engaged at Work? Only 30.5% are Engaged. 10 RECHARGING TIPS!

Un-engaged at Work? Only 30.5% are Engaged. 10 RECHARGING TIPS!

UN-ENGAGED EMPLOYEES HAVE CRACKS THAT NEED REPAIR!

UN-ENGAGED EMPLOYEES HAVE CRACKS THAT NEED REPAIR!


Is there a crack in your armor? Are you living on empty and have nothing left to give your family or job? Maybe you are a full-or part-time caregiver for an aging parent or a senior with dementia? Perhaps you are in a senior living sales slump?

You can’t help anyone else or be productive at work unless you take care of yourself first. Look for joy in the moments. You may be going through a dire time. Maybe your parent or one of your senior patients is dying. Perhaps your daughter or son has some kind of health or school trauma. Possibly you just learned that someone scheduled to move into your retirement community has changed his or her mind. It may have been the one you needed to hit your sales goal this month. Sigh…they are going to stay home and wait for a crisis. You start asking why over and over.

Don’t become jaded and harden yourself with a giant wall to protect your emotions. It’s mentally checking out and called un-engagement. Your family, senior prospective residents and coworkers can feel your wall.

If you work in senior living sales, we can’t help every senior. Only the ones who choose to plan ahead. Do you feel overwhelmed with what’s happening in your personal life? Is your lack of sales getting you down? Well it’s time to go find your rainbow. Are you wondering how to get started?  Feed your mind with positive thoughts. Schedule time to heal yourself!

10 Recharging Tips:

  1. Go to a live concert, stand in your shower or drive down the road singing at the top of your lungs.
  2. Sit by the ocean and wiggle your toes in the sand.
  3. Fly down the road with the wind in your face on a bike or motorcycle.
  4. Hold a baby or play with small children.
  5. Take a Saturday to read a book.
  6. Hang out with your friends.
  7. Spend time in nature – amongst the trees, watching the river go by or gazing at a lake.
  8. Soak in a bubble bath surrounded by candles.
  9. Go to a sports game in person. Cheer on your favorite team.
  10. Build a fire and make s’mores!

Recharge today, so you can change your world one senior or family member at a time.

Let your family and job see your heart when you speak. They will be moved and feel your sincerity. Seniors can tell if you want what’s best for them. Suddenly seniors who were “not ready yet” become ready to move into your retirement community. Conviction in your voice can move a mountain.

Shake off the negative. Don’t focus on the junk. I created a spiritual foundation of faith that can sustain me when I have a tough day. You can too. We all have moments of weakness. Believe in your ability to change a senior’s or family member’s life today.

In every encounter with family or at work, we either give life or drain it.

Do you give life to those around you at work and at home? Are you so worn out from working that you have nothing left to give your family? It’s your choice to be a giver or taker to those around you. Have you taken time to recharge yourself recently?

Exciting news!  Diane’s CCRC teams are breaking records and hitting aggressive occupancy goals this quarter.  They all participate in a weekly book review led by Diane.  The book review helps the teams stay on track, improve sales skills and build team camaraderie.  They just completed learning the 12 keys in Senior Housing Marketing: How to Increase Your Occupancy and Stay Full for senior living professionals.  It was written by Diane Twohy Masson.  

Credit to Gallop: Only 30.5% of employees are engaged at work.

Everyone of us knows at least one senior that needs to move now.  Here is a resource to help you or them make an informed decision.  Diane Twohy Masson’s new guide book for seniors, “Your Senior Housing Options,”  is available on Amazon.com with a 5-star rating.  It reveals a proactive approach to navigating the complex maze of senior housing options. It will help you understand the costs and consequences of planning ahead or waiting too long.  Learn firsthand tips from someone who is currently advocating for two aging parents.

Among the thousands of seniors she and her teams have assisted in finding the right senior living community, the most difficult case has been helping her own parent. Masson spent two years exploring senior housing options with her mother before finding the ideal Continuing Care Retirement Community for her. After eight years in this independent living setting, she helped her mother transition into an assisted living community. Seven years later, even as a senior housing expert, Masson struggled with the decision to move her mother into a skilled nursing community.

More related articles by Diane can be found at  Tips2Seniors.com or like Tips 2 Seniors on Facebook.

What do you do? What’s your 30-second commercial?

What do you do? What’s your 30-second commercial?

What's your 30-second commercial?

What’s your 30-second commercial?

We’ve all been at a party when a new acquaintance asks, “What do you do?” What is your response? Is it engaging and interesting? Or does your heart drop, because you have to talk about work and you end up sharing a boring list of your duties or mumble your exact job title?

Every one of us can improve our 30-second commercial and make it captivating to the listener.

Here are a couple of tips of what not to do:

  • No laundry list of duties
  • Don’t just give your job title and company name

At Seattle’s Pike Place Market, a company that sold fish seven days a week decided to make it interesting. They were determined to have fun and engage the customers. So the motivated employees started throwing the fish that customers were  purchasing. Now they are a huge tourist attraction and sell lots of fish.

If you work for a senior living company and simply state you work at an assisted living or skilled nursing community, it sounds boring. Saying, “We improve the quality of seniors lives everyday,” – makes your acquaintance ask a secondary questions of – how? Everyone typically knows an aging parent, grandparent or senior neighbor. In the remote possibility that you do not, you probably know a friend who is dealing with an aging senior who needs help. Ninety-nine percent of the time, people need advice for an aging relative and you can end up helping them or suggest they consider your senior living community (which is wonderful for them, your company and you).

Maybe you already use your 30-second commercial on a daily basis? Or you use it occasionally when you attend chamber of commerce or networking events. Each of us can improve our commercial and make it more appealing to the listener. Your fellow networkers and social acquaintances will appreciate you making an effort.

So what is your 30-second commercial? Is it interesting enough that someone asks you a follow up question?

If you share your 30-second commercial in the comment section on my blog page, you will automatically be entered to win a copy of my new book, “Your Senior Housing Options.” The best commercial will win and be announced in the comment section of my blog on Saturday, June 13th.

Everyone of us knows at least one senior that needs to move now.  Here is a resource to help you or them make an informed decision.  Diane Twohy Masson’s new guide book for seniors, “Your Senior Housing Options,”  is available on Amazon.com with a 5-star rating.  It reveals a proactive approach to navigating the complex maze of senior housing options. It will help you understand the costs and consequences of planning ahead or waiting too long.  Learn firsthand tips from someone who is currently advocating for two aging parents.

Among the thousands of seniors she and her teams have assisted in finding the right senior living community, the most difficult case has been helping her own parent. Masson spent two years exploring senior housing options with her mother before finding the ideal Continuing Care Retirement Community for her. After eight years in this independent living setting, she helped her mother transition into an assisted living community. Seven years later, even as a senior housing expert, Masson struggled with the decision to move her mother into a skilled nursing community.

More related articles by Diane can be found at  Tips2Seniors.com or like Tips 2 Seniors on Facebook.

Diane Twohy Masson has worked in senior housing since 1999. She is an award-winning certified aging services professional and the author of Senior Housing Marketing: How to Increase Your Occupancy and Stay Full for senior living professionals.

Worthless Power of Attorney?

Worthless Power of Attorney?

Will the POA understand new shoes are needed?

Will the POA understand new shoes are needed?

It’s hard to be an advocate for a senior for years on end. I advocated for my own mom (with vascular dementia) for over 10 years, until I recently lost her. Advocacy is not an easy job and it can entail sleepless nights of concern.

It’s vital to select a Power of Attorney (POA) who currently knows you well enough. If you can no longer speak on your own behalf, your POA needs to know if you are over medicated or sedated just by looking at you. They need to know your baseline so they can help you and reverse the issue or accelerate an outcome in a timely fashion.

The POA’s main purpose is to comply with your wishes that were indicated before you became incapacitated. They should always protect your best interests both mentally and physically.

Over medication is a growing problem for seniors. I have heard many stories of hospitals overmedicating seniors. My own mother-in-law was over sedated in the emergency room. She has Alzheimer’s. They had no room in the psych ward and she was drug restrained for three days and two nights in the emergency room. Sigh…

It has taken us four months to get my mother-in-law off Haldol. Psychotropic drugs and dementia do not mix well. Her POA thought the doctors understood what they were doing tapering off the medication. Unfortunately, my mother-in-law’s doctor admitted to knowing nothing about psychotropic drugs and was relying on others to advise her. Gulp… What a mess! We are talking about seniors’ lives…

Neither the doctor nor the POA knew what to do about my mother-in-law’s medications or where to begin. It literally required a family member taking my mother-in-law to her doctor and demanding, in person, for the Haldol to terminate immediately. The doctor could see for herself the sedation instead of relying on the input from home health professionals. The weird part was the doctor agreed to terminate the Haldol in three days. We wondered why wait three days? It turned out she wanted a psych nurse to visit my mother-in-law while she was still on the Haldol. The psych nurse agreed to terminate the Haldol too. Here is the horrible part; the psych nurse ordered a different psychotropic drug on an as needed basis. What?? It took the family helping the POA another week to reverse that fiasco.

Why are doctors prescribing psychotropic drugs to seniors with dementia in the first place?

A POA needs to be vigilant.  It may require educating themselves about medications that they no nothing about. Very few POA’s are doctors and nurses. If you are the parent of a doctor or nurse who will be your POA, then congratulations are in order for you.

What about a senior with neuropathy in his or her feet? Something as simple as buying quality shoes, so a senior has better balance is key. Will the POA do it?

What if your POA is an attorney or an absentee POA relative who rarely visits, how can they understand or advocate for your needs?

A POA needs to be willing to speak to the doctor on your behalf. Some possible POA’s are very direct (speak their mind) and others are indirect (prefer to fade into the background). Some folks are introverted and others are extroverted. Who are you asking to be your POA? Will they get the job done? This is not a position for sissies. Your POA needs to be hardcore if you are in dire need. Your POA may have to spend relentless hours pursuing a medication result that is beneficial for your needs.

What have you encountered? Who have you selected to be your POA? Do you feel good about your decision?

Don’t wait until you’re in a health care crisis like author Diane Masson’s in-laws. It has been a nightmare for her in-laws and all the adult children. Research your future choices NOW to avoid being “put” somewhere, or having decisions made for you by others.  “Your Senior Housing Options” is a new resource book available on Amazon.com with a 5-star rating. It offers a step-by-step guide to the options, including staying home. 

Seniors, Boomer children, spouses, family members and caregivers are desperate to learn how to truly differentiate good senior housing from mediocre at best. Diane Masson’s new book will answer these heart-wrenching issues in an easy, simple, story telling format with humorous illustrations. 

Diane has worked in senior housing for 17 years and is the regional marketing director for two debt-free Continuing Care Retirement Communities in Southern CA (Freedom Village in Lake Forest and The Village in Hemet).  Her first book “Senior Housing Marketing – How to Increase Your Occupancy and Stay Full,” is being utilized by senior housing professionals across the country.

For weekly tips and advice go to www.Tips2Seniors.com and learn more from author and senior housing expert Diane Twohy Masson.