by Diane Masson | Feb 2, 2014
“Just go in your diaper…”
My good friend’s mom fell on the Chicago ice in zero degree weather. She called out for help and no one answered. His mom was literally laying on the sidewalk in Chicago with a dislocated shoulder and a very bruised hip. She was lucky to have her cell phone in her pocket, but at 93 years old could not figure out how to call 911 on the flip phone. Then she was double lucky to have her wireless house phone to actually call 911 for help.
So my friend flew from Seattle (Home of the famous Seahawks) to Chicago to go help his mom. What a burden for an adult child to be responsible for an aging parent who lives across the country.
The mom’s doctor highly recommended a rehab community and said it was excellent. My friend checked his mom into the rehab and went back to her house to sleep. Well, the mom ended up calling him at 4:00 AM and said, “Get me out of here!”
This is what happened… When the mom hit the call light to go to the bathroom, a very pregnant caregiver appeared and said, “I can’t lift you, just go in your diaper.” Later, when the mom hit the call light again for some water, another caregiver appeared and said, “You still have water left in your glass, drink that first.” Then she just walked away.
In the morning, when the mom complained to the head nurse, the result was angry excuses. So the mom called her doctor and heads started to spin at the rehab. The administrator came in to apologize and then the head nurse suddenly became nice. The mom was told that she would never have to be with the two night caregivers again.
Unbelievable. It’s hard to imagine that a 93-year-old mentally sharp senior had to shake up this Chicago rehab community. I wonder how the other residents faired with this “motley crew”?
Please share your successes, failures or comment below to join the conversation and interact with other senior living professionals on what is currently being effective to increase occupancy on a nationwide basis.
Diane Twohy Masson is the author of “Senior Housing Marketing – How to Increase Your Occupancy and Stay Full,” available at Amazon.com with a 5-star rating. The book is required reading at George Mason University as a part of its marketing curriculum. Within this book, the author developed a sales & marketing method with 12 keys to help senior living providers increase their occupancy. Masson developed this expertise as a marketing consultant, sought-after blogger for senior housing and a regional marketing director of continuing care retirement communities in several markets. She has also been a corporate director of sales and a mystery shopper for independent living, assisted living, memory care and skilled care nursing communities in multiple states. Currently, Masson is setting move-in records as the regional marketing director of two debt-free Continuing Care Retirement Communities in Southern California – Freedom Village in Lake Forest and The Village in Hemet, California. Interestingly, this career started when she was looking for a place for her own mom and helped her loved one transition through three levels of care.
© Marketing 2 Seniors| Diane Twohy Masson 2013 All Rights Reserved. No part of this blog post may be reproduced, copied, modified or adapted, without the prior written consent of the author, unless otherwise indicated for stand-alone materials. You may share this website and or it’s content by any of the following means: 1. Using any of the share icons at the bottom of each page. 2. Providing a back-link or the URL of the content you wish to disseminate. 3. You may quote extracts from the website with attribution to Diane Masson CASP and link https://www.marketing2seniors.net For any other mode of sharing, please contact the author Diane Masson.
by Diane Masson | Dec 22, 2013
Mom and Diane
Here is a shout out to all the special senior living employees who are working on Christmas this year. Every Boomer child who cares about his or her parent appreciates your dedication.
You may be cooking or serving the grand holiday buffet in an Independent Living Community, passing medications in an Assisted Living Community, calming anxiety in a Memory Care Community or providing 24-hour care in a Skilled Nursing – Thank You!
This Christmas, my mom is in Freedom Village Health Care Center. When I visited her on Thanksgiving morning, I saw smiles and joy in the eyes of the skilled nursing staff. Today, I am grateful that quality staff surrounds her and that she will be savoring her favorite coffee on Christmas morning.
Are you working on Christmas this year? Share your community name and what you do! Let’s spread some Christmas cheer!
Diane Twohy Masson is the author of “Senior Housing Marketing – How to Increase Your Occupancy and Stay Full,” available at Amazon.com with a 5-star rating. The book is required reading at George Mason University as a part of its marketing curriculum. Within this book, the author developed a sales & marketing method with 12 keys to help senior living providers increase their occupancy. Masson developed this expertise as a marketing consultant, sought-after blogger for senior housing and a regional marketing director of continuing care retirement communities in several markets. She has also been a corporate director of sales and a mystery shopper for independent living, assisted living, memory care and skilled care nursing communities in multiple states. Most recently Masson was recruited to consult for two debt-free Continuing Care Retirement Communities in Southern California – Freedom Village in Lake Forest and The Village in Hemet, California. Interestingly, this career started when she was looking for a place for her own mom and helped her loved one transition through three levels of care.
© Marketing 2 Seniors| Diane Twohy Masson 2013 All Rights Reserved. No part of this blog post may be reproduced, copied, modified or adapted, without the prior written consent of the author, unless otherwise indicated for stand-alone materials. You may share this website and or it’s content by any of the following means: 1. Using any of the share icons at the bottom of each page. 2. Providing a back-link or the URL of the content you wish to disseminate. 3. You may quote extracts from the website with attribution to Diane Masson CASP and link https://www.marketing2seniors.net For any other mode of sharing, please contact the author Diane Masson.
by Diane Masson | Nov 24, 2013
My Mom
My theory of 10 years is now officially broken. I believed that if you had a mean parent they turned nice with dementia and if you had a nice parent they would turn mean with dementia. My random sample was everyone that I have ever spoken to about this theory.
Well, the tables have turned and my mom has turned mean again. Years ago, the ugly side of my mom was only exposed behind closed doors. The mental abuse for years took a tool on all my siblings and I. In fact, when they each turned 18, all of them moved to other states. I stayed to protect my dad. I figured if she took half her wrath out on me, he would only be subjected to it 50 percent of the time.
In college, psychology classes opened my eyes to mental illness and depression. After my mean mom did not attend my graduation or marriage, I was done. A wonderful counselor taught me how to deal with it. When I spoke to my mom and she was mean, I would say, “I am sorry that this conversation is not going the way I hoped, I have to go now, bye.” After I did this three times, my mom’s treatment of me turned around. She has treated me well for 28 years.
Now, she is in the late stages of vascular dementia. I got a call two days ago saying she is yelling and swearing at the staff. Oh boy, my nice mom is gone. Say hello, to sundowners syndrome and her living in the past of about 30 years ago. Yesterday, I went to spend some quality time with her. The mean look was on her face. My mom harshly said, “Where have you been? You have a lot of gaul showing up now. Why haven’t you come to see me? Everyone is stealing all my things. The neighbors are selling off all my clothes. You are just showing me defiance. I am hungry, no one has fed me in days.” Then she pointed to one of the staff and said, “See, she is crying.” (No staff was crying.)
Little Diane, felt she was back in high school again. I kept my head and tried to talk her off the ledge (so to speak). She just continued ranting and repeating what she already had said. She was visible agitated. I handed her the banana I had brought and she relaxed by 50%. Every time she repeated that she was hungry, I invited her to eat the banana. She said, “I am not hungry, I will save it for later.” My husband and I continued to talk to her in a calm and reassuring way and an invisible sundowners switch finally turned her back to my nice mom.
About a half hour later, I explained to her that she had memory loss. I explained how I was helping her by having a doctor (podiatrist) trim her toenails this week and she screamed, “Don’t touch me, don’t cut my nails” at the top of her lungs. She said, “I did? Well one doctor hurt me a long time ago.” I told her about another doctor who came to do an eye exam and now she has new glasses and can read again. When she said that she could not understand the staff, I said, “Yes, your hearing is bad and we have an audiologist scheduled to come in and maybe get you a hearing aid.” She loved the explanations, enjoyed me being there, holding her hand and feeling calmness.
Eventually, I said, “Mother I heard that you were yelling and swearing at the staff this week.” She said, “I did? I can’t remember. I didn’t mean to.” Then I said, “When I came in today, you were mean to me and yelled at me.” My mom said, “I am sorry, I didn’t mean to, I don’t remember.” Well, all was forgiven and I was so glad that I did not walk out earlier that day by reliving the harsh criticism and mental abuse of the past.
If your parent has turned mean, just remember it is the monster disease of dementia, sundowners syndrome or Alzheimer’s. (I know it’s easier said that done.) As my mom sundowners continues to progress, I may have to hold onto this apology forever. She may not have the brain cells left in vascular dementia to be cognitive enough to apologize.
Her psychiatrist says the sundowners has progressed to the point of needing medications to help her. I am very protective of my mom and don’t want to over medicate her, but my mom has been in her own daily mental torture for about three weeks. My goal is to keep her comfortable and pain free. If the medications can give her peace, I am now all for them.
Please share your successes, failures or comment below to join the conversation and interact with other senior living professionals on what is currently being effective to increase occupancy on a nationwide basis.
Diane Twohy Masson is the author of “Senior Housing Marketing – How to Increase Your Occupancy and Stay Full,” available at Amazon.com with a 5-star rating. The book is required reading at George Mason University as a part of its marketing curriculum. Within this book, the author developed a sales & marketing method with 12 keys to help senior living providers increase their occupancy. Masson developed this expertise as a marketing consultant, sought-after blogger for senior housing and a regional marketing director of continuing care retirement communities in several markets. She has also been a corporate director of sales and a mystery shopper for independent living, assisted living, memory care and skilled care nursing communities in multiple states. Most recently Masson was recruited to consult for two debt-free Continuing Care Retirement Communities in Southern California – Freedom Village in Lake Forest and The Village in Hemet, California. Interestingly, this career started when she was looking for a place for her own mom and helped her loved one transition through three levels of care.
© Marketing 2 Seniors| Diane Twohy Masson 2013 All Rights Reserved. No part of this blog post may be reproduced, copied, modified or adapted, without the prior written consent of the author, unless otherwise indicated for stand-alone materials. You may share this website and or it’s content by any of the following means: 1. Using any of the share icons at the bottom of each page. 2. Providing a back-link or the URL of the content you wish to disseminate. 3. You may quote extracts from the website with attribution to Diane Masson CASP and link https://www.marketing2seniors.net For any other mode of sharing, please contact the author Diane Masson.
by Diane Masson | Oct 20, 2013
An adult child or power of attorney plays a crucial role at a care conference. You can literally hold the pieces of the puzzle that an assisted living, skilled nursing care or memory care need in order to enhance the lifestyle of the resident.
No one alive knows my mom better than me. She cannot always advocate on her own behalf, because she has vascular dementia. If I asked her, “What would you rather have for dinner, prime rib or salmon?” My mom would say, “Diane you know what I like, you decide.” Even with her dementia, she knows that I will select her favorite choices from the past.
Recently, at my mom’s care conference in skilled nursing care a puzzle started to come together. My mom was having episodes of greater confusion. It might be three days in row and then she would be fine again. Was my mom’s dementia getting worse or was it something else? Would she need to start a new drug?
As we were brainstorming possibilities, I remembered how lack of sleep could intensive my mom’s dementia in the past. We figured out that the bed alarm of some of her recent roommates was affecting her sleep. When she experienced less sleep, then she would have episodes of greater delusion during the day.
It was an aha moment, so now they are going to focus on roommates who don’t need constant alarms going off. Hopefully my mom will improve. As a Boomer child, I have to be willing to accept that my mom’s dementia is getting worse, but maybe my advocacy can continue to help improve her quality of life for now.
Please share your success, failures or comment below to join the conversation and interact with other senior living professionals on what is currently being effective to increase occupancy on a nationwide basis.
Diane Twohy Masson is the author of “Senior Housing Marketing – How to Increase Your Occupancy and Stay Full,” available at Amazon.com with a 5-star rating. The book is required reading at George Mason University as a part of its marketing curriculum. Within this book, the author developed a sales & marketing method with 12 keys to help senior living providers increase their occupancy. Masson developed this expertise as a marketing consultant, sought-after blogger for senior housing and a regional marketing director of continuing care retirement communities in several markets. She has also been a corporate director of sales and a mystery shopper for independent living, assisted living, memory care and skilled care nursing communities in multiple states. Most recently Masson was recruited to consult for two debt-free Continuing Care Retirement Communities in Southern California – Freedom Village in Lake Forest and The Village in Hemet, California. Interestingly, this career started when she was looking for a place for her own mom and helped her loved one transition through three levels of care.
© Marketing 2 Seniors| Diane Twohy Masson 2013 All Rights Reserved. No part of this blog post may be reproduced, copied, modified or adapted, without the prior written consent of the author, unless otherwise indicated for stand-alone materials. You may share this website and or it’s content by any of the following means: 1. Using any of the share icons at the bottom of each page. 2. Providing a back-link or the URL of the content you wish to disseminate. 3. You may quote extracts from the website with attribution to Diane Masson CASP and link https://www.marketing2seniors.net For any other mode of sharing, please contact the author Diane Masson.
by Diane Masson | Sep 1, 2013
I can’t stop thinking about my surprise visit with my mom yesterday. I arrived Sunday afternoon about 2:30 PM to Freedom Village Healthcare Center in California. She was not in her usual places – where was she? A caregiver said, “Oh, your mom is down in the activity room.” I said to my husband Chris, “We really need to pay more attention to the activity calendar, so we don’t visit during those times. I want her to enjoy all the social times and I can visit her when nothing else is going on.”
We happened upon the activity calendar and all the activities were done for the day. So what was she doing? As we turned the corner, we saw my mom’s beaming face. She was playing bingo. The caregiver smiled at me and said, “Oh, do you want to take your mom?” I said, “Absolutely not, let her enjoy herself.” It was great to see pure joy – when she said, “Bingo!”
What was interesting to me was her interacting with the other residents and helping them play too. My mom has severe vascular dementia. When she speaks it is about 70% non-reality. What a great activity to really stimulate her brain. The caregiver said to me, “We decided to put on a bingo game for them, they like it and it gives them something to do.”
Well, bless those two caregivers who created an unscheduled resident activity to help with the resident’s quality of life. This was a huge “Wow” for me and I can’t stop thinking about how happy my mom was. For those of you who follow my blog, I moved my mom 1000 miles to be near me about three months ago. This was the best day of my mom’s life here in California.
After each resident said bingo, the caregiver would call the resident by name and say, “You won a cookie.” No cookies appeared. I thought to myself, well the residents have dementia – they won’t remember the cookie promise. To my utter surprise – cookies appeared at the end of the last game. One cookie for each resident. When the caregiver was handing out the last cookie, the resident said, “I don’t get one – I didn’t win.” The caregiver said, “That’s okay, you are a winner for even being here.” There are tears in my eyes writing this, because these staff went above and beyond!
As the afternoon progressed – my mom continued being animated and talking nonstop. It did not matter that 60% was non-reality. She was having a great time and I loved spending quality time with her. Some people think people with dementia have nothing to offer in life, well, they are 100% wrong.
Please share your success, failures or comment below to join the conversation and interact with other senior living professionals on what is currently being effective to increase occupancy on a nationwide basis.
Diane Twohy Masson is the author of “Senior Housing Marketing – How to Increase Your Occupancy and Stay Full,” available at Amazon.com with a 5-star rating. The book is required reading at George Mason University as a part of its marketing curriculum. Within this book, the author developed a sales & marketing method with 12 keys to help senior living providers increase their occupancy. Masson developed this expertise as a marketing consultant, sought-after blogger for senior housing and a regional marketing director of continuing care retirement communities in several markets. She has also been a corporate director of sales and a mystery shopper for independent living, assisted living, memory care and skilled care nursing communities in multiple states. Most recently Masson was recruited to consult for two debt-free Continuing Care Retirement Communities in Southern California – Freedom Village in Lake Forest and The Village in Hemet, California. Interestingly, this career started when she was looking for a place for her own mom and helped her loved one transition through three levels of care.
© Marketing 2 Seniors| Diane Twohy Masson 2013 All Rights Reserved. No part of this blog post may be reproduced, copied, modified or adapted, without the prior written consent of the author, unless otherwise indicated for stand-alone materials. You may share this website and or it’s content by any of the following means: 1. Using any of the share icons at the bottom of each page. 2. Providing a back-link or the URL of the content you wish to disseminate. 3. You may quote extracts from the website with attribution to Diane Masson CASP and link https://www.marketing2seniors.net For any other mode of sharing, please contact the author Diane Masson.
by Diane Masson | Aug 4, 2013
As a daughter with a mom in skilled nursing care, the PBS documentary entitled “Life and Death in Assisted Living” really upset me. My mom has vascular dementia and I have been her advocate for the last 7 years in assisted living. Those of you who follow my blog know that I moved my mom 1000 miles into a skilled nursing care near me – about 10 weeks ago. This transition happened because I was 100% in tune with my mom’s needs.
We all know someone who had a horror story during a hospital stay. Last week one of my colleagues was shocked to walk in and find her dad in soft restraints after heart surgery. He was 82 and not coming out of the anesthesia well. The nurse said that she did not have enough staff to help him, so she had to use soft arm restraints. My colleague asked if they could please remove the restraints. She and her mom each took one arm of her dad and literally held him thrashing around all night with no sleep.
Every senior or human being needs an advocate to make sure that the care they are paying thousands of dollar per month in any level of care is being provided. Trying to be a good advocate for my mom and living two states away – just about killed me. You have to have eyes on your loved one or pay someone to come in and be your eyes – particularly when they have dementia.
When a senior has dementia, like my mom, they get to the point where they cannot communicate all their needs, pains or desires to either caregivers or family members. There needs to be an advocate who truly knows that person and can look for and understand his or her unspoken needs on a regular basis.
If my colleague had not shown up to be an advocate for her dad, he would have been in soft restraints all night. If I had not flown in every few months to see my mom with my own eyes, areas of concern would not have been addressed. My mom had good care in assisted living with a caring staff, but she is my mom and I know her best.
It always makes me sad when a future senior resident considering senior housing has no family or only distant relatives. They may ask a lawyer or a niece in Canada to become their advocate or power of attorney. Will this remote person advocate properly on his or her behalf – if the senior can no longer communicate verbally?
There are great senior housing options available with loving caring staff, but it is always wise to have an advocate that knows your unspoken needs when you can no longer speak on your own behalf.
Tip: Future residents and their family members need to do their homework as they explore all senior housing options including assisted living. Always ask what the longevity of staff is at each retirement community, assisted living, memory care or skilled care nursing that you are considering for yourself or a loved one. Staff turnover is an indicator of an underlying management or ownership problem in all levels of senior care. Look for communities with longevity of staff.
Diane Twohy Masson is the best-selling author of “Senior Housing Marketing – How to Increase Your Occupancy and Stay Full,” available at Amazon.com with a 5-star rating. The book is required reading at George Mason University as a part of its marketing curriculum. Within this book, the author developed a sales & marketing method with 12 keys to help senior living providers increase their occupancy. Masson developed this expertise as a marketing consultant, sought-after blogger for senior housing and a regional marketing director of continuing care retirement communities in several markets. She has also been a corporate director of sales and a mystery shopper for independent living, assisted living, memory care and skilled care nursing communities in multiple states. Most recently Masson was recruited to consult for two debt-free Continuing Care Retirement Communities in Southern California – Freedom Village in Lake Forest and The Village in Hemet, California. Interestingly, this career started when she was looking for a place for her own mom and helped her loved one transition through three levels of care.
