Tips 2 Seniors | Meet the Author: Diane Masson
Speaker, Blogger & Senior Living Expert
Diane Twohy Masson shares her personal and professional experience to help seniors and their families navigate the Silver Tsunami.
The author spent two years exploring senior housing options with her mom before finding the ideal Continuing Care Retirement Community. After enjoying eight successful years in an independent living setting, her mom suffered a fall and the onset of dementia. This daughter helped transition her to assisted living — in the nick of time. Seven years later, even this expert struggled making the dramatic decision to move her mom long distance into a skilled nursing community.
Diane Twohy Masson has worked in Senior Housing since 1999 and is an award-winning Certified Aging Services Professional (CASP) with a B.S. in business management and a minor in marketing from Central Washington University. She can share behind the scenes insider tips and advice after mystery shopping 300 senior living communities. Diane and her teams have helped thousands of seniors move into multiple styles of senior living, but she learned the hardest move is helping your own parent.
Diane Twohy Masson is the best-selling author of “Senior Housing Marketing – How to Increase Your Occupancy and Stay Full,” available at Amazon.com with a 5-star rating. The book is required reading at George Mason University as a part of its marketing curriculum. Within this book, the author developed a sales method with 12 keys to help senior living providers increase their occupancy.
She enjoys public speaking, golfing, traveling, Disneyland, bird watching, writing, hiking, camping, reading, scripture study, and spending time with her family.
My Personal Story…
Tips 2 Seniors Blog
Articles & Resources for Seniors by Diane Masson
10 Dementia Gift Ideas
When I brought my mom a Christmas gift from my brother and sister-in-law, she had no recognition on her face as she read the tag. My mom’s vascular dementia is stopping her from connecting her son’s written name with his face. That part of her brain is gone. So what do you do? Does your mom or dad have dementia? Are they still at home or residing in an assisted living, memory care or skilled nursing community? My mom has had dementia for 12 years and has lived in skilled nursing care for 19 months. She cannot remember anything and only speaks clearly about 30 to 50 percent of the time. My recommendation is to give a photo of yourself with your gift. Attach your photo directly to the gift. Your parent has a better chance of recognizing you in the photo than knowing who you are by reading a gift tag. Here are 10 dementia gift ideas: A soft lap blanket – I gave my mom a small Christmas blanket and it was a homerun. Every time she sees it, she touches it and comments on the softness. My intention was giving a functional gift (keeping her warm) and an easy way for her to recognize the holiday season. It has really worked, because last night she talked about Christmas on her own. A manicure or hand massage – Hopefully this can be performed by you? It is a way to connect physically, so they can feel your presence and love. My mom loves having her nails done. A sweater – A nice red sweater or sweatshirt is always a...
Dentistry and Dementia
Am I a bad daughter? Yesterday, I learned the shocking truth that my mom has five missing teeth. My mom has lived in a higher level of care for over eight years. Seven years in assisted living in Seattle and the last 17 months in skilled nursing care in California. My mother has had vascular dementia for over 10 years and I have been attending doctor appointments with her for years. Why did I never consider oral health and attending a dentist appointment? It was pure luck that I visited my mom this week when the mobile dentist was there. Dr. Mark Mroch was awesome. He had a funny and engaging personality. My mom was completely enamored with him. They were joking back and I forth and I was cracking up. According to dental records the five teeth were missing when my mom arrived in California. Now that I have processed this situation, I have some unanswered dental questions: Why did no one tell the POA (Power of Attorney) of a dementia patient that her mom had five teeth missing when it was first discovered? Has my mom with her dementia been responsible for her own dental hygiene for all these years? Do assisted living and skilled nursing communities brush and floss teeth? How often? If the senior tells the caregiver that flossing hurts, do they just discontinue flossing and not tell the family? Is a dentist required to request flossing in order for it to happen? Can you please share what the oral hygiene policy is at your assisted living, skilled nursing or memory care community? I know the...
Dementia Birthday Tip
My mom is going to be 92 years young on Tuesday and she has had vascular dementia for around 11 years. She can’t remember what she had for breakfast, but she still knows my name. Last week when my husband and I went to see her at the Freedom Village Health Care Center she said, “What a surprise, I am happy to see you!” I was so astonished with her welcome. Usually it can take several minutes for her brain to adjust that we are there. We celebrated her birthday month that evening with a snack, gift and watching a movie together. She was 70% cognitively with us and shared some childhood memories. This week, I was not so lucky. I arrived in the morning with a balloon and a gift from my brother. When I saw her, she was in an anxious mood. I braced myself for an unknown emotional roller coaster. The balloon scared her at first, which shocked me. Then she wanted to read it and soon she was laughing. She told me that it was not a good day, that she could not remember anything and it was all so confusing. I told her that I understood and that it would be okay. She calmed down and then asked what was in the package. I told her it was her birthday gift from my brother Paul. “Is it my birthday?” she asked. I laughed and showed her the sign that I had attached to the balloon. It said, Margie’s birthday is October 28th, she will be 92 years young. I set the balloon next to...
Hiring a Caregiver “Under the Table”
Potentially a senior can save significant money by hiring a companion recommended from church or their neighbor’s friend who has been out of work. It’s a win/win for everybody – right? Wrong! What is their recourse if this win/win situation starts going badly? There is no boss or company where they can voice concerns. Last week, I attended the Care Revolution Conference in Anaheim, CA and met over 20 home care company owners and managers. One manager shared that the majority of her potential caregiver applicants do not pass the drug screening. I was shocked. Another home care owner shared that 40% of the remaining applicants don’t pass the criminal background check. Reputable agencies have a vetting process so a senior can have confidence about who is in their home providing care. Home care owners shared with me that seniors who hire a caregiver “under the table,” become employers and are responsible for taxes and social security of their employee. Seniors should check with their accountant and consider the ramifications of paying quarterly taxes for an employee. Initially, it may sound like a bargain to pay a caregiver “under the table.” Seniors need to consider the long-term financial consequences and legalities. It seems crazy to me that a senior needing help would become an employer and have to pay quarterly taxes. If a caregiver claims a work injury while working for a senior, costs can climb upwards to $300,000 after surgery, therapies and loss time from work. Some caregivers work for multiple companies, so one never really knows if the injury was from working for the senior or another...
Sugar Addict Seniors?
Does every assisted living and skilled nursing community in America serve a dessert to their residents for lunch AND dinner? Is this too much sugar? Can sugar cause or increase dementia and Alzheimer’s? My mom lived in assisted living for 7 years and had desserts twice a day. Now, she has lived in skilled nursing for 17 months with desserts twice a day and don’t forget the occasionally ice cream snack or the birthday party with cake. She has progressed over nine years from some memory loss to full blown vascular dementia. Was it life, genes or could sugar have helped it along? What is your opinion? Fact: It is very hard for me to walk away from a good piece of chocolate. I am a sugar addict. Then I started reading about sugar causing inflammation in the body according Dr.Daniel Amen and how sugar can lead to dementia according to New York Times’ best selling author David Perlmutter, MD. When I started eating more that 12 pieces a day, I decided to give up sugar. Every month, I am a presenter at four or more marketing luncheons for prospective residents. The lunches are outstanding and always end with a spectacular dessert. This week it was a cheesecake with strawberry sauce. I said no thank you. As the excellent servers are glancing around and notice that I don’t have a dessert, they come over to offer me one again. Sometimes I have had to say no to dessert three times at one luncheon. It is tough to give up sugar! Temptation is everywhere! There is always a birthday celebration with...
“Is there a Hippie Retirement Community?”
A younger senior woman with long hair and beads asked me this question at a presentation last week. I asked what a hippie retirement community would look like for her. She said, “Less walls and more indoor and outdoor living. Where you felt outdoors, even when you were indoors.” This made me think about our outdoor dining venues, so I showed her the “Fountain Café at The Village.” It is an outdoor dining venue, where the chef barbeques for the residents. Entrée choices might be barbequed salmon, ribs or an amazing burger. Soft music emits from rock speakers that reside in the surrounding garden. Residents can come and sit in the outdoor café at any time to read a book or spend time with visiting family. Beyond the Fountain Café area is the popular putting green. She loved the outdoor area. I said, “Is this what you are talking about?” She said, “Yes!” Then I explained how the health club with state-of-the-art exercise equipment adjoined the outdoor swimming pool. It has an indoor/outdoor feeling too. The younger senior loved it and agreed, but said she was not ready for an apartment with walls. Anyone know of a hippie retirement community, maybe something with tents? Are we ready for Boomer hippies? Can you share what is happening in your city and state, so we can all understand senior housing from a national perspective? It’s as easy as making a comment below. Thanks in advance for joining the conversation and sharing this blog with other professionals in the senior living world. Diane Twohy Masson is currently writing a new book for...
Can You Miss One Long-term Care Payment?
Yesterday, I learned of a senior resident in California who was denied HER long-term care coverage in skilled nursing, because she had missed one payment while ill. Are you seriously kidding me? This is flat out wrong and it makes me angry. I have been in the senior living industry for fifteen years and always considered those with long-term insurance fortunate. Now I realize that when a senior is most vulnerable is also when they need this coverage to kick in. Who will fill out the paperwork? All the Continuing Care Retirement Communities where I work graciously accommodate residents in this area. But what about missing a payment to the long term care insurance company? This seems bound to happen. According the Alzheimer’s Association one in three seniors die of dementia, so it would make sense that a senior with dementia or Alzheimer’s might miss a bill or two. So all those years of paying in for a higher level of care are negated when you are sick and demented? Come on, this is not acceptable. Long-term care insurance is a security blanket to offset the high cost of future health care as you age. Many seniors have paid in for years to either have a policy that provides up to a certain dollar amount or certain time range (typically three years). The senior and her family are all panicked. The son made numerous attempts to call his mom’s insurance company and would remain on hold for over forty minutes. Unbelievably, after he finally reached them thirty days later, the policy had expired two days before for lack of...
Guarantee of Care For Life?
Many senior living communities say, “We will take care of you for the rest of your life.” Really? What if a senior legitimately runs out of his or her resources? Can they still stay for life? Is it a marketing spiel or a real guarantee? What promise is really written in the resident’s contract? Do they offer at least three levels of care including skilled nursing? Senior living communities can talk about a “fund” to help residents or a “Good Samaritan Fund.” My own mom was lucky enough to benefit from this type of fund. I never dreamed in a million years that my mom would live in a higher level of care like assisted living for so many years (seven to be exact). In the middle of those seven years, my mom ran out of her resources. She has social security, an annuity, a pension and a savings account. Her savings account depleted down to $2,000. Thank goodness my mom’s Continuing Care Retirement Community (CCRC) had a Good Sam Fund that was developed out of generous donations. The little known fact was that only 10 seniors could benefit from the fund at any given time. My mom was number 10. I never knew if there was a resident whose number was 11 or higher that never received financial help. Now, I know about two CCRC’s in CA that offer a Guarantee of Care for life. It is straight up and clearly written in the contracts at Freedom Village in Lake Forest and The Village in Hemet. An attorney compared CCRC contracts in Orange County and determined that all...
How To Move Someone Saying, “No!”
It would be very interesting for independent, assisted living and group homes to share examples of people who moved into your senior living community who initially said, “No, I don’t want to leave my home!” How many senior living residents have you experienced in this situation? Two weeks ago, I heard the story of an independent couple whose Boomer children moved them one hour closer to them. The dad said that he had left heel marks all the way up the freeway, because he didn’t want to move. Now, both he and his wife love living at their new Continuing Care Retirement Community that is located by their children and grandchildren. Tonight, I heard about Jim and Joan’s dad. He was clinically depressed and stayed in his pajamas all day. He only put on clothes when Jim picked him up (drove him one block) to spend time with his wife and grandchildren. Once his dad, Dwayne, got to their house and had dinner, he didn’t want to leave, even at 11:00 PM. Jim and his wife Carol both had to be at work at 7:00 AM. They literally had to take a resistant Dwayne back to his home each evening. This went on every night for one year. Jim finally reached the breaking point. Jim and his sister Joan went to find a retirement community for their dad. They had it all set up and then drove their dad to his new home. The entire way there, Dwayne kept saying, “No, no, no!” They said, “Dad, you will love it, give it a chance.” They showed him his new...
As My Mom Declines Should I Give Up On Her Walking?
My mom is 91 years old and has vascular dementia. She has slowly declined over the last nine years. Through my research, I can assume she is in one of the last two stages of dementia (there are seven). My mom has been in skilled nursing care for the last 9½ months and needs 100% assistance. The last thing that she could do on her own was feed herself. Now she has dramatically declined in the last month and even needs assistance with eating. She is still a good eater, but does not have the cognition to eat on her own. It is too much work for her. Her short-term memory seems like it has decreased to about one-second. Antipsychotic medications have reduced the amount and the intensity of her delusions, anxiety, crying and irritability. There have been medications added, increased and decreased in the last four months. It has been a balancing act to try to improve the quality of her emotions and cognition without having her become lethargic. Now my mom’s memory loss has affected her ability to walk. At the last care conference meeting, we discussed the quality of her life and whether it is a good idea to try to make someone walk or not. It takes constant encouragement to get her walking and she keeps trying to sit down. I have advocated for the caregivers to keep trying to walk her daily. They never make her, but lots of encouragement can produce a walk to breakfast or lunch. By dinnertime, my mom’s Sundowners Syndrome with anxiety and crying make it impossible to walk her....Learn More About Senior Housing…
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