Tips 2 Seniors | The Blog
with Author: Diane Masson
Moving A Lifetime of Memories (Part 2)
They Moved And Placed Everything Except The Cat!
Easiest move ever? Yes!!! It was a picture perfect move thanks to a senior friendly company called Helping Hands in California. They literally pulled out their smart phones and snapped “before pictures.” Then in the new home each mover referenced their smart phones to recreate a room, a bookcase or any area that had knick-knacks. Moving a Lifetime of Memories (Part 1) is about my decision to hire a senior moving company.
An army of men arrived at 9:00 AM and the move went so fast. The same person that packed up the kitchen unpacked and organized the kitchen in our new home. This one fact alone was awesome and took tremendous stress off of me. The same mover that packed up the bathroom reorganized it in the new bathroom. It was amazing.
Here is the completion level of each room on the day of the move:
- The kitchen is 100% done (just need to buy groceries and we are ready to cook).
- Living room is 100% done (including pictures on the wall).
- Dining room is 100% done (including pictures on the wall).
- The master bath is 100% done (everything is in it’s place).
- Office/music room is 95% done (books on the book shelves, pictures hung and still need to rightsize the closets a bit more).
- Coat and towel closet are 100% done.
- Master bedroom is 90% done (still need to reorganize the clothes hanging in the closet, buy two lamps and figure out what pictures to hang).
- Second bathroom is 0% done (only two boxes to unpack, because our two cats were crated in this room during the move).
- The garage is 50% done (all the garage stuff is in the garage, but we could not have the team of men put everything away because the garage was too dirty).
Our biggest move challenges?
- Downsizing in general, so I focused on rightsizing. It was easier to stomach rightsizing. It is an attitude.
- Arriving the day of the move to find a dirty garage with stuff left from the previous owner.
- Realizing our master bedroom has zero light.
The good news is that I loved Helping Hands, because instead of months to settle into my home, I am already settled. It should just take a couple of days to go buy lamps and then clean and organize the garage.
I highly recommend this senior moving company and this type of service for seniors moving into retirement communities. Yes, it does cost more than two man and a truck, but it can literally take the stress away from moving.
Please share your successes, failures or comment below to join the conversation and interact with other senior living professionals on what is currently being effective to increase occupancy on a nationwide basis.
Diane Twohy Masson is the author of “Senior Housing Marketing – How to Increase Your Occupancy and Stay Full,” available at Amazon.com with a 5-star rating. The book is required reading at George Mason University as a part of its marketing curriculum. Within this book, the author developed a sales & marketing method with 12 keys to help senior living providers increase their occupancy. Masson developed this expertise as a marketing consultant, sought-after blogger for senior housing and a regional marketing director of continuing care retirement communities in several markets. She has also been a corporate director of sales and a mystery shopper for independent living, assisted living, memory care and skilled care nursing communities in multiple states. Currently, Masson is setting move-in records as the regional marketing director of two debt-free Continuing Care Retirement Communities in Southern California – Freedom Village in Lake Forest and The Village in Hemet, California. Interestingly, this career started when she was looking for a place for her own mom and helped her loved one transition through three levels of care.
© Marketing 2 Seniors| Diane Twohy Masson 2013 All Rights Reserved. No part of this blog post may be reproduced, copied, modified or adapted, without the prior written consent of the author, unless otherwise indicated for stand-alone materials. You may share this website and or it’s content by any of the following means: 1. Using any of the share icons at the bottom of each page. 2. Providing a back-link or the URL of the content you wish to disseminate. 3. You may quote extracts from the website with attribution to Diane Masson CASP and link https://www.marketing2seniors.net For any other mode of sharing, please contact the author Diane Masson.
Moving a Lifetime of Memories (Part 1)
Eight months ago, I shared the journey of moving my mom 1000 miles to live in a skilled nursing community near me. Now, here is my journey of walking in a prospective senior resident’s shoes and moving – TODAY!
What’s it like for a senior to move 30, 40 or 50 years worth of memories? Is it unsettling, heart wrenching, stressful and terrifying for a senior? My husband and I are moving today after living in a beautiful home for only two years and it feels disruptive, daunting and time consuming.
Who likes moving? It’s anticipating or dreading that I will have temporarily or permanent lost items for months. Plus it can take months to settle in, hang pictures on the wall and start to feel like OUR home.
Most people do not like change. It ‘s easier to just stay where you are and keep the status quo.
Well, since we have to move, I decided to try a new method that we recommend to our clients at a Continuing Care Retirement Community called Freedom Village. I hired a senior moving company, who will literally take our pictures off the wall, pack all our belongings, move us, unpack everything and put the pictures back up on the walls. If we recommend this service to clients, why not see what it is really like ourselves?
Maybe it won’t be as daunting and time consuming as when my husband and I used to hire two men and a truck?
It will be a two-day move. The senior moving company called Helping Hands will take about three hours to pack us up on the first day and the next day they will move all our belongings and unpack us.
Next week, I will share the rest of the story in part two and we will see how easy or painful moving day is and how long it took to settle into our new home.
Please share your successes, failures or comment below to join the conversation and interact with other senior living professionals on what is currently being effective to increase occupancy on a nationwide basis.
Diane Twohy Masson is the author of “Senior Housing Marketing – How to Increase Your Occupancy and Stay Full,” available at Amazon.com with a 5-star rating. The book is required reading at George Mason University as a part of its marketing curriculum. Within this book, the author developed a sales & marketing method with 12 keys to help senior living providers increase their occupancy. Masson developed this expertise as a marketing consultant, sought-after blogger for senior housing and a regional marketing director of continuing care retirement communities in several markets. She has also been a corporate director of sales and a mystery shopper for independent living, assisted living, memory care and skilled care nursing communities in multiple states. Currently, Masson is setting move-in records as the regional marketing director of two debt-free Continuing Care Retirement Communities in Southern California – Freedom Village in Lake Forest and The Village in Hemet, California. Interestingly, this career started when she was looking for a place for her own mom and helped her loved one transition through three levels of care.
© Marketing 2 Seniors| Diane Twohy Masson 2013 All Rights Reserved. No part of this blog post may be reproduced, copied, modified or adapted, without the prior written consent of the author, unless otherwise indicated for stand-alone materials. You may share this website and or it’s content by any of the following means: 1. Using any of the share icons at the bottom of each page. 2. Providing a back-link or the URL of the content you wish to disseminate. 3. You may quote extracts from the website with attribution to Diane Masson CASP and link https://www.marketing2seniors.net For any other mode of sharing, please contact the author Diane Masson.
“Just Go in Your Diaper…”
“Just go in your diaper…”
My good friend’s mom fell on the Chicago ice in zero degree weather. She called out for help and no one answered. His mom was literally laying on the sidewalk in Chicago with a dislocated shoulder and a very bruised hip. She was lucky to have her cell phone in her pocket, but at 93 years old could not figure out how to call 911 on the flip phone. Then she was double lucky to have her wireless house phone to actually call 911 for help.
So my friend flew from Seattle (Home of the famous Seahawks) to Chicago to go help his mom. What a burden for an adult child to be responsible for an aging parent who lives across the country.
The mom’s doctor highly recommended a rehab community and said it was excellent. My friend checked his mom into the rehab and went back to her house to sleep. Well, the mom ended up calling him at 4:00 AM and said, “Get me out of here!”
This is what happened… When the mom hit the call light to go to the bathroom, a very pregnant caregiver appeared and said, “I can’t lift you, just go in your diaper.” Later, when the mom hit the call light again for some water, another caregiver appeared and said, “You still have water left in your glass, drink that first.” Then she just walked away.
In the morning, when the mom complained to the head nurse, the result was angry excuses. So the mom called her doctor and heads started to spin at the rehab. The administrator came in to apologize and then the head nurse suddenly became nice. The mom was told that she would never have to be with the two night caregivers again.
Unbelievable. It’s hard to imagine that a 93-year-old mentally sharp senior had to shake up this Chicago rehab community. I wonder how the other residents faired with this “motley crew”?
Please share your successes, failures or comment below to join the conversation and interact with other senior living professionals on what is currently being effective to increase occupancy on a nationwide basis.
Diane Twohy Masson is the author of “Senior Housing Marketing – How to Increase Your Occupancy and Stay Full,” available at Amazon.com with a 5-star rating. The book is required reading at George Mason University as a part of its marketing curriculum. Within this book, the author developed a sales & marketing method with 12 keys to help senior living providers increase their occupancy. Masson developed this expertise as a marketing consultant, sought-after blogger for senior housing and a regional marketing director of continuing care retirement communities in several markets. She has also been a corporate director of sales and a mystery shopper for independent living, assisted living, memory care and skilled care nursing communities in multiple states. Currently, Masson is setting move-in records as the regional marketing director of two debt-free Continuing Care Retirement Communities in Southern California – Freedom Village in Lake Forest and The Village in Hemet, California. Interestingly, this career started when she was looking for a place for her own mom and helped her loved one transition through three levels of care.
© Marketing 2 Seniors| Diane Twohy Masson 2013 All Rights Reserved. No part of this blog post may be reproduced, copied, modified or adapted, without the prior written consent of the author, unless otherwise indicated for stand-alone materials. You may share this website and or it’s content by any of the following means: 1. Using any of the share icons at the bottom of each page. 2. Providing a back-link or the URL of the content you wish to disseminate. 3. You may quote extracts from the website with attribution to Diane Masson CASP and link https://www.marketing2seniors.net For any other mode of sharing, please contact the author Diane Masson.
Wouldn’t life be simpler with less stuff?
Wouldn’t life be simpler with less stuff?
This thought stuck me today, when I saw a homeless man with nine carts of stuff. I had to take a picture of it. How could he ever move to a new location? It would be no easy feat to roll nine carts of stuff along.
Prospective senior residents considering a retirement community or assisted living have to feel the same way. It is so overwhelming to think about moving years of memories and stuff. A frail senior may feel it is easier to just struggle in his or her home with navigating stairs, managing a walker, asking neighbors to transport them to medical appointments and eating TV dinners.
The quality of a senior’s life in this frail condition is not good. But the flip side is they get to live amongst all their stuff.
It is interesting to watch the adult Boomer children get into the mix. Some want mom or dad to continue in the family home and either can’t see or ignore the reality of the parent struggling to just eat, bathe and take medications. Other children see the danger and can’t sleep worrying for their parent’s safety and health condition.
This is our reality as senior living professionals. We must never forget how hard it is to move and what a chore it is to downsize our stuff. Our compassion is what compels many seniors to move into one of our communities. Thank you for each senior that you personally helped facilitate move into a retirement or assisted living community. I believe they have a better quality of life with more nutritious food, a greater feeling of independence if they no longer drive and a support system for medical emergencies. How do you feel?
Please share your successes, failures or comment below to join the conversation and interact with other senior living professionals on what is currently being effective to increase occupancy on a nationwide basis.
Diane Twohy Masson is the author of “Senior Housing Marketing – How to Increase Your Occupancy and Stay Full,” available at Amazon.com with a 5-star rating. The book is required reading at George Mason University as a part of its marketing curriculum. Within this book, the author developed a sales & marketing method with 12 keys to help senior living providers increase their occupancy. Masson developed this expertise as a marketing consultant, sought-after blogger for senior housing and a regional marketing director of continuing care retirement communities in several markets. She has also been a corporate director of sales and a mystery shopper for independent living, assisted living, memory care and skilled care nursing communities in multiple states. Currently, Masson is setting move-in records as the regional marketing director of two debt-free Continuing Care Retirement Communities in Southern California – Freedom Village in Lake Forest and The Village in Hemet, California. Interestingly, this career started when she was looking for a place for her own mom and helped her loved one transition through three levels of care.
© Marketing 2 Seniors| Diane Twohy Masson 2013 All Rights Reserved. No part of this blog post may be reproduced, copied, modified or adapted, without the prior written consent of the author, unless otherwise indicated for stand-alone materials. You may share this website and or it’s content by any of the following means: 1. Using any of the share icons at the bottom of each page. 2. Providing a back-link or the URL of the content you wish to disseminate. 3. You may quote extracts from the website with attribution to Diane Masson CASP and link https://www.marketing2seniors.net For any other mode of sharing, please contact the author Diane Masson.
Mean Mom, Nice Mom and Dementia
My Mom
My theory of 10 years is now officially broken. I believed that if you had a mean parent they turned nice with dementia and if you had a nice parent they would turn mean with dementia. My random sample was everyone that I have ever spoken to about this theory.
Well, the tables have turned and my mom has turned mean again. Years ago, the ugly side of my mom was only exposed behind closed doors. The mental abuse for years took a tool on all my siblings and I. In fact, when they each turned 18, all of them moved to other states. I stayed to protect my dad. I figured if she took half her wrath out on me, he would only be subjected to it 50 percent of the time.
In college, psychology classes opened my eyes to mental illness and depression. After my mean mom did not attend my graduation or marriage, I was done. A wonderful counselor taught me how to deal with it. When I spoke to my mom and she was mean, I would say, “I am sorry that this conversation is not going the way I hoped, I have to go now, bye.” After I did this three times, my mom’s treatment of me turned around. She has treated me well for 28 years.
Now, she is in the late stages of vascular dementia. I got a call two days ago saying she is yelling and swearing at the staff. Oh boy, my nice mom is gone. Say hello, to sundowners syndrome and her living in the past of about 30 years ago. Yesterday, I went to spend some quality time with her. The mean look was on her face. My mom harshly said, “Where have you been? You have a lot of gaul showing up now. Why haven’t you come to see me? Everyone is stealing all my things. The neighbors are selling off all my clothes. You are just showing me defiance. I am hungry, no one has fed me in days.” Then she pointed to one of the staff and said, “See, she is crying.” (No staff was crying.)
Little Diane, felt she was back in high school again. I kept my head and tried to talk her off the ledge (so to speak). She just continued ranting and repeating what she already had said. She was visible agitated. I handed her the banana I had brought and she relaxed by 50%. Every time she repeated that she was hungry, I invited her to eat the banana. She said, “I am not hungry, I will save it for later.” My husband and I continued to talk to her in a calm and reassuring way and an invisible sundowners switch finally turned her back to my nice mom.
About a half hour later, I explained to her that she had memory loss. I explained how I was helping her by having a doctor (podiatrist) trim her toenails this week and she screamed, “Don’t touch me, don’t cut my nails” at the top of her lungs. She said, “I did? Well one doctor hurt me a long time ago.” I told her about another doctor who came to do an eye exam and now she has new glasses and can read again. When she said that she could not understand the staff, I said, “Yes, your hearing is bad and we have an audiologist scheduled to come in and maybe get you a hearing aid.” She loved the explanations, enjoyed me being there, holding her hand and feeling calmness.
Eventually, I said, “Mother I heard that you were yelling and swearing at the staff this week.” She said, “I did? I can’t remember. I didn’t mean to.” Then I said, “When I came in today, you were mean to me and yelled at me.” My mom said, “I am sorry, I didn’t mean to, I don’t remember.” Well, all was forgiven and I was so glad that I did not walk out earlier that day by reliving the harsh criticism and mental abuse of the past.
If your parent has turned mean, just remember it is the monster disease of dementia, sundowners syndrome or Alzheimer’s. (I know it’s easier said that done.) As my mom sundowners continues to progress, I may have to hold onto this apology forever. She may not have the brain cells left in vascular dementia to be cognitive enough to apologize.
Her psychiatrist says the sundowners has progressed to the point of needing medications to help her. I am very protective of my mom and don’t want to over medicate her, but my mom has been in her own daily mental torture for about three weeks. My goal is to keep her comfortable and pain free. If the medications can give her peace, I am now all for them.
Please share your successes, failures or comment below to join the conversation and interact with other senior living professionals on what is currently being effective to increase occupancy on a nationwide basis.
Diane Twohy Masson is the author of “Senior Housing Marketing – How to Increase Your Occupancy and Stay Full,” available at Amazon.com with a 5-star rating. The book is required reading at George Mason University as a part of its marketing curriculum. Within this book, the author developed a sales & marketing method with 12 keys to help senior living providers increase their occupancy. Masson developed this expertise as a marketing consultant, sought-after blogger for senior housing and a regional marketing director of continuing care retirement communities in several markets. She has also been a corporate director of sales and a mystery shopper for independent living, assisted living, memory care and skilled care nursing communities in multiple states. Most recently Masson was recruited to consult for two debt-free Continuing Care Retirement Communities in Southern California – Freedom Village in Lake Forest and The Village in Hemet, California. Interestingly, this career started when she was looking for a place for her own mom and helped her loved one transition through three levels of care.
© Marketing 2 Seniors| Diane Twohy Masson 2013 All Rights Reserved. No part of this blog post may be reproduced, copied, modified or adapted, without the prior written consent of the author, unless otherwise indicated for stand-alone materials. You may share this website and or it’s content by any of the following means: 1. Using any of the share icons at the bottom of each page. 2. Providing a back-link or the URL of the content you wish to disseminate. 3. You may quote extracts from the website with attribution to Diane Masson CASP and link https://www.marketing2seniors.net For any other mode of sharing, please contact the author Diane Masson.
Surprise Visit to my Mom’s Skilled Nursing Care
I can’t stop thinking about my surprise visit with my mom yesterday. I arrived Sunday afternoon about 2:30 PM to Freedom Village Healthcare Center in California. She was not in her usual places – where was she? A caregiver said, “Oh, your mom is down in the activity room.” I said to my husband Chris, “We really need to pay more attention to the activity calendar, so we don’t visit during those times. I want her to enjoy all the social times and I can visit her when nothing else is going on.”
We happened upon the activity calendar and all the activities were done for the day. So what was she doing? As we turned the corner, we saw my mom’s beaming face. She was playing bingo. The caregiver smiled at me and said, “Oh, do you want to take your mom?” I said, “Absolutely not, let her enjoy herself.” It was great to see pure joy – when she said, “Bingo!”
What was interesting to me was her interacting with the other residents and helping them play too. My mom has severe vascular dementia. When she speaks it is about 70% non-reality. What a great activity to really stimulate her brain. The caregiver said to me, “We decided to put on a bingo game for them, they like it and it gives them something to do.”
Well, bless those two caregivers who created an unscheduled resident activity to help with the resident’s quality of life. This was a huge “Wow” for me and I can’t stop thinking about how happy my mom was. For those of you who follow my blog, I moved my mom 1000 miles to be near me about three months ago. This was the best day of my mom’s life here in California.
After each resident said bingo, the caregiver would call the resident by name and say, “You won a cookie.” No cookies appeared. I thought to myself, well the residents have dementia – they won’t remember the cookie promise. To my utter surprise – cookies appeared at the end of the last game. One cookie for each resident. When the caregiver was handing out the last cookie, the resident said, “I don’t get one – I didn’t win.” The caregiver said, “That’s okay, you are a winner for even being here.” There are tears in my eyes writing this, because these staff went above and beyond!
As the afternoon progressed – my mom continued being animated and talking nonstop. It did not matter that 60% was non-reality. She was having a great time and I loved spending quality time with her. Some people think people with dementia have nothing to offer in life, well, they are 100% wrong.
Please share your success, failures or comment below to join the conversation and interact with other senior living professionals on what is currently being effective to increase occupancy on a nationwide basis.
Diane Twohy Masson is the author of “Senior Housing Marketing – How to Increase Your Occupancy and Stay Full,” available at Amazon.com with a 5-star rating. The book is required reading at George Mason University as a part of its marketing curriculum. Within this book, the author developed a sales & marketing method with 12 keys to help senior living providers increase their occupancy. Masson developed this expertise as a marketing consultant, sought-after blogger for senior housing and a regional marketing director of continuing care retirement communities in several markets. She has also been a corporate director of sales and a mystery shopper for independent living, assisted living, memory care and skilled care nursing communities in multiple states. Most recently Masson was recruited to consult for two debt-free Continuing Care Retirement Communities in Southern California – Freedom Village in Lake Forest and The Village in Hemet, California. Interestingly, this career started when she was looking for a place for her own mom and helped her loved one transition through three levels of care.
© Marketing 2 Seniors| Diane Twohy Masson 2013 All Rights Reserved. No part of this blog post may be reproduced, copied, modified or adapted, without the prior written consent of the author, unless otherwise indicated for stand-alone materials. You may share this website and or it’s content by any of the following means: 1. Using any of the share icons at the bottom of each page. 2. Providing a back-link or the URL of the content you wish to disseminate. 3. You may quote extracts from the website with attribution to Diane Masson CASP and link https://www.marketing2seniors.net For any other mode of sharing, please contact the author Diane Masson.
Is Advocacy the Answer for Assisted Living?
As a daughter with a mom in skilled nursing care, the PBS documentary entitled “Life and Death in Assisted Living” really upset me. My mom has vascular dementia and I have been her advocate for the last 7 years in assisted living. Those of you who follow my blog know that I moved my mom 1000 miles into a skilled nursing care near me – about 10 weeks ago. This transition happened because I was 100% in tune with my mom’s needs.
We all know someone who had a horror story during a hospital stay. Last week one of my colleagues was shocked to walk in and find her dad in soft restraints after heart surgery. He was 82 and not coming out of the anesthesia well. The nurse said that she did not have enough staff to help him, so she had to use soft arm restraints. My colleague asked if they could please remove the restraints. She and her mom each took one arm of her dad and literally held him thrashing around all night with no sleep.
Every senior or human being needs an advocate to make sure that the care they are paying thousands of dollar per month in any level of care is being provided. Trying to be a good advocate for my mom and living two states away – just about killed me. You have to have eyes on your loved one or pay someone to come in and be your eyes – particularly when they have dementia.
When a senior has dementia, like my mom, they get to the point where they cannot communicate all their needs, pains or desires to either caregivers or family members. There needs to be an advocate who truly knows that person and can look for and understand his or her unspoken needs on a regular basis.
If my colleague had not shown up to be an advocate for her dad, he would have been in soft restraints all night. If I had not flown in every few months to see my mom with my own eyes, areas of concern would not have been addressed. My mom had good care in assisted living with a caring staff, but she is my mom and I know her best.
It always makes me sad when a future senior resident considering senior housing has no family or only distant relatives. They may ask a lawyer or a niece in Canada to become their advocate or power of attorney. Will this remote person advocate properly on his or her behalf – if the senior can no longer communicate verbally?
There are great senior housing options available with loving caring staff, but it is always wise to have an advocate that knows your unspoken needs when you can no longer speak on your own behalf.
Tip: Future residents and their family members need to do their homework as they explore all senior housing options including assisted living. Always ask what the longevity of staff is at each retirement community, assisted living, memory care or skilled care nursing that you are considering for yourself or a loved one. Staff turnover is an indicator of an underlying management or ownership problem in all levels of senior care. Look for communities with longevity of staff.
Diane Twohy Masson is the best-selling author of “Senior Housing Marketing – How to Increase Your Occupancy and Stay Full,” available at Amazon.com with a 5-star rating. The book is required reading at George Mason University as a part of its marketing curriculum. Within this book, the author developed a sales & marketing method with 12 keys to help senior living providers increase their occupancy. Masson developed this expertise as a marketing consultant, sought-after blogger for senior housing and a regional marketing director of continuing care retirement communities in several markets. She has also been a corporate director of sales and a mystery shopper for independent living, assisted living, memory care and skilled care nursing communities in multiple states. Most recently Masson was recruited to consult for two debt-free Continuing Care Retirement Communities in Southern California – Freedom Village in Lake Forest and The Village in Hemet, California. Interestingly, this career started when she was looking for a place for her own mom and helped her loved one transition through three levels of care.
The Most Special Name in Skilled Nursing Care
What is your favorite word in the English language? It is probably your own name. When a senior gets to the point of living in assisted living or skilled nursing care – his or her memory is most likely failing. So the most magical word they can hear is their own name.
Recently I was blown away at the Freedom Village Healthcare Center in California. My mom has lived there for about 2 months. When I walked down the hall with my mom, every single staff person spoke to her with a smile. They either said her first name or her last name “Mrs. Twohy.” Then they would share some encouraging statement. It was not just one or two staff. We literally ran into about 14 staff on our walk and each made my mom feel special. She smiled back at each one and it was wonderful to see her joy.
After having lunch with my mom and family in the outdoor fountain courtyard, my brother was taking my mom back inside and a staff person pointed at my brother’s hat and said, “Your name is on your hat.” My brother was so surprised. It took him a moment to realize that that this person knew his last name – Twohy, because our mom lives there in skilled nursing care.
So the staff not only makes my mom feel special everyday, but reach out to family members as well. Noticing “Twohy” on my brother’s hat goes above and beyond and created a real “wow” for my family. It showed me that every employee is committed to calling the residents by name and I was impressed! Do staff in your skilled nursing care, assisted living, memory care and even independent living know every single resident’s first and last names? Why not have a contest, so they can get rewarded for learning names today.
Please share your success, failures or comment to join the conversation and interact with other senior living professionals on what is currently being effective to increase occupancy on a nationwide basis.
Diane Twohy Masson is the author of “Senior Housing Marketing – How to Increase Your Occupancy and Stay Full,” available for sale at Amazon.com. Masson’s book is required reading at George Mason University as part of the marketing curriculum. She is currently consulting with two debt-free Continuing Care Retirement Communities in Southern California – Freedom Village in Lake Forest and The Village in Hemet, California. Connection and partnership opportunities: Email: diane@marketing2seniors.net
Moving My Mom 1000 Miles From Assisted Living to Skilled Nursing Care (Part 3)
Diane and her Mother
Up to now, it has been a tough six-week transition for my mother. Right after we moved my mom to skilled nursing care, she was announcing to those who would listen that she was kidnapped. Really?? Oh my!! This was actually the clearest thing she was saying and the rest was random scattered memories mixed with 75 – 95 percent delusions. It was very tough for me to see. But I never gave up on her clarity coming back.
Tomorrow, on Monday, it will be six weeks since I moved my mom from Seattle to California. You may have missed my previous blog posts on the preparations for moving my mom because she was diagnosed with breast cancer (Part 1) and the trauma and joy of moving day itself (Part 2).
It has been a tough road as a boomer daughter with a ton of paperwork, but it has a happy ending. My mom lives at a wonderful community that I represent in Lake Forest, CA.
Who was the worst marketer for about three weeks? Yup, my mom!! She was announcing daily that she had not been fed breakfast. My mom was so convincing that two different department heads (who don’t work in the health care center), believed her when they walked by and tried to get her more food. I appreciate both of them always watching out for all our residents, including my mom.
It turned out that my mom’s thyroid was out of whack. Now, my mother is back to her happy dementia self. Today, it was a joy to witness her having 70 percent clarity of mind. She said, “l love it here.” “The food is great!” “We get to have lunch outside and I like it.” “Remember years ago, I lived here?” (She went to college at UCLA and it has happy memories for her.) She saw my computer and asked if there were pictures to see on it. (This was huge remembering a computer could have photos.) My mom knew today that she lived in California!
We browsed through the Sunday paper together (I was pointing out good highlights). She loved sitting outside talking, feeling the breeze, seeing the birds and watching the fountain in the courtyard.
So the proof is in the pudding! Someone with severe vascular dementia can put a new home in his or hers long-term memory. It has taken six weeks for my mom to be comfortable with her new routine. I just want to continue to enjoy her clarity moments and I am always grateful that she can call me by name and still knows who I am. Today, she shared smiles and laughter with me. God is good!
Please share your success, failures or comment to join the conversation and interact with other senior living professionals on what is currently being effective to increase occupancy on a nationwide basis.
Diane Twohy Masson is the author of “Senior Housing Marketing – How to Increase Your Occupancy and Stay Full,” available for sale at Amazon.com. Masson’s book will be required reading at George Mason University in the Fall as part of the marketing curriculum. She is currently consulting with Seniors For Living and two debt-free Continuing Care Retirement Communities in Southern California – Freedom Village in Lake Forest and The Village in Hemet, California. Connection and partnership opportunities: Email: diane@marketing2seniors.net
Moving My Mom 1000 Miles From Assisted Living to Skilled Nursing Care (Part 2)
Every time she asked where we were going, I said to lunch.
Organizing a move of this magnitude is a pile of paperwork combined with a daughter’s worry of every possible outcome going wrong.
The long story short is it took my husband Chris and I, seven hours to move my mom with vascular dementia 1000 miles. Is it the best thing for her – yes! Did it almost kill me – yes! But there were blessings along the way including moments and memories of complete clarity that I will always treasure. I still see my mom in my minds eyes as her former mentally astute self, but now she can’t remember what she had for breakfast. Why I am moving my mom is shared in Part 1.
My Mom’s Moving Day
I had a 50/50 chance that she would be having a good day, when we arrived at her assisted living community for the move – it was a BAD day for her. She was anxious, hungry and wandering around for some attention. I talked to a caregiver and took her to breakfast in the dining room as my husband packed her suitcases. The goal was for her not to be stressed out about moving and we accomplished that goal.
Two days before the move, we had organized her entire room and decided what we were taking, what had to be shipped separately and what was going to goodwill. She never knew, because we took turns with her.
On the way back from breakfast, my mom sensed that something was up. When four people were outside her door, she asked why. They scattered and a caregiver gave the morning medications to her. While she was eating we had gathered all her medications, personal affects and created a special bag to handle incontinence on the way – which was my greatest worry.
She didn’t want to get in the car, but Chris and I coaxed her in. The drive to the SeaTac Airport was enjoyable for her. My friend Stephen was the driver and he was wonderful with my mom. The arrival at the airport with the hustle and bustle created immediate anxiety for her. She thought that she was seeing Chris and I off and wondered when she would see us again. Chris said, that she was coming with us. She said that she would not get on a plane. Oh boy…thank goodness for anti-anxiety medications.
Getting through security was crazy, my mom’s bag beeped because of liquid medications. So one of us had to be tested for bomb residue on our hands. We all got separated, bags were being retested for bombs and my mom was all-alone for 3 minutes. They ended up testing her for bomb residue – seriously!!?! Then we headed out to the gate.
I ran to get lunch, because I had promised my mom Ivar’s fish and chips. Every time she asked where we were going, I said to lunch. She would immediately calm down.
We were wheeling her onto the plane and just as they were transferring her to another wheel chair to take her down the aisle, she announced that she needed to use the restroom. I just wanted to get her on the plane, but we had to go back to the concourse and use the family restroom. There was – of course – a wait for it. We took care of my mom and I thought we would miss the plane, but a security breach had happened and we had to wait another 30 minutes to board. All our bags, my mom’s medications and the lunch were on the plane.
When we finally got on the plane and I said we were having lunch. My mom said her first funny, “Are you just saying we are having lunch or are we really having lunch?” I laughed and pulled out the fish and chips. We really had a great time on the plane, she knew she was on a plane and said she was having fun. I brought family pictures for her to look at and a stuffed bear to hold.
My mom slowly processed the move on the plane. She was excited about going to California and remembered being born there and going to college at UCLA. She was happy, calm and smiling…
My mom was fantastic and the incontinence was not an issue, even after we landed – whew… The Freedom Village driver picked us up and we took her to her new home at the Freedom Village Healthcare Center. In a week or two, I will describe the transition…
Please comment to join the conversation and interact with other senior living professionals on what is currently being effective to increase occupancy on a nationwide basis.
Diane Twohy Masson is the author of “Senior Housing Marketing – How to Increase Your Occupancy and Stay Full,” available for sale at Amazon.com. Masson’s book will be required reading at George Mason University in the Fall as part of the marketing curriculum. She is currently consulting with Seniors For Living and two debt-free Continuing Care Retirement Communities in Southern California – Freedom Village in Lake Forest and The Village in Hemet, California. Connection and partnership opportunities: Email: diane@marketing2seniors.net
Learn More About Senior Housing…
Follow Senior Housing News
